


three

by bad_drive



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet, F/F, F/M, Heartbreak, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22082239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bad_drive/pseuds/bad_drive
Summary: They say that the average person only falls in love with three different people in their lifetime.The first love is a kind that is followed by the book; the one that you expect to have for the rest of your life, the one you often see on the big screen.The second love is more difficult, but it's also the one that allows you to see who you truly are, and it's appreciated.And the third one is...unexpected.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Kang Seulgi, Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy, Bae Joohyun | Irene/Song Minho | Mino
Comments: 4
Kudos: 95





	1. part one

**_One was_ **

Joohyun was not like any of her friends.

Her friends were constantly blabbering about finding the right guy to date, or the right guy to take them to the homecoming dance or to the grand end of the year dance—prom. Yet, here she was, figuring that it was better for her own good to stick her mind to studying instead.

She did not think she actually needed a relationship in the first place.

It was not like she did not believe in love. She did. She would rather wait for the right person to come along than jump into any relationship—like what a few of her friends have gone through. And they were single— _again_. But ready to jump the gun any time, as if their previous, rushed relationships have not taught them a lesson at all.

However, whenever Joohyun stated that she was not interested in someone or that she would rather wait until high school ends, her friends gave her one of the most incredulous, out-of-this-world look. Their lips did not have to move because their eyes said it all: _“Joohyun, are you freakin’ crazy? This is the time where you should be messing around, snogging up next to the cutest guy you know! You’re so pretty, how can you not want a boyfriend?”_

Well, they did not _exactly_ say that, but it was implied.

And it was kind of _true_.

However, anything her friends would say regarding that topic would not budge her.

It was one of those days where Joohyun could not concentrate in the library with her friends surrounding her every side, chatting about boys once again. When it came to the point that she was reading a sentence in her textbook but could not exactly decipher its meaning minutes later, she excused herself and paced around campus to relax.

Joohyun ended up in the Music Hall; the only other time she was here was when she took a music appreciation class, and that was about two years ago. She did not exactly have the knowledge to play instruments nor did she have the patience to learn one, but she did appreciate the musicians who could play them effortlessly.

On second thought, Joohyun _actually_ did not know why she decided to go to the Music Hall. She had absolutely no purpose there—she did not know any of the teachers personally, she did not know how to play an instrument, and she sure as hell did not have any close friends who frequented this place.

She hoped her mind did not subconsciously direct her here after dipping into a conversation among her friends spewing out that there were a couple of “hotties” here who could play the guitar and the drums. Sure, someone who could play the drums could be seen as attractive, but what if you wanted a soft melody? Joohyun digressed.

Joohyun snapped out of her trance when she heard a faint strumming of strings coming from the room adjacent to her. She steadily crept up to the door and peered through the rectangular window, a lonesome individual strumming a guitar in her range of sight. Joohyun was not able to make out the person’s face since they were bent over the guitar, staring at the strings as well as the phone on their lap, but it was definitely a girl by the likes of her long, wavy hair and slender body.

Joohyun figured the girl must be practicing, for the latter was strumming the same pattern continuously and stopping abruptly at some parts.

“I don’t even know why I’m still here….” she whispered to herself.

She eventually backed away from the door and proceeded to make her way home until she heard a voice accompanying the strumming of the guitar. Joohyun could have continued her path, but her body froze in the middle of the vacant hallway, as if her heart was attempting to pull her back to the door but her mind was fighting it. She ended up staying there to listen to the girl’s melodic voice.

It was sweet and beautiful, almost as if Joohyun were to sleep at night, she would want this voice to sing her to a slumber. She hadn’t heard anything like this before.

Her feet gradually directed her back to the door. The girl’s face was visible now, her eyes closed and her face slightly scrunched from belting out the melodic notes. Joohyun was in a trance at this point and she had to push the door open a bit to be able to hear her voice, and when it came clear and beautiful to her ears, she almost wanted to melt. She kind of did, with the way her heart pumped and warmth was coursing throughout her body.

Joohyun desired to know who this girl was—especially her name.

She thought about forging up a lame excuse to enter the room. Maybe a friend of hers wanted her to retrieve an instrument from her, but then she saw all the lockers in the room and not a single instrument in plain sight other than the one resting on the girl’s lap. Or maybe she could confess and say that she was incredibly entranced by her voice and yearned to hear more. No, that would be too weird and creepy, to say the least. How would she explain her wandering in Music Hall _way_ after school hours?

 _But_ Joohyun was determined to find out one way or another, so she probably thought she should—

“Um… hello?”

Joohyun jolted from her rooted position and accidentally pushed the door open wider to reveal all of herself. The girl was a bit shocked by Joohyun’s startled reaction, not thinking that she would have scared her with a soft tone of her voice, but she remained in her seat. She looked about ready to bolt out the other exit closest to her should anything happen, though.

Joohyun panicked and attempted to calm herself down before the girl decided to run.

“U-U-Um, h-hi,” she stammered, and hissed under her breath for being such a ditz. “I-I, uh, I was just—um… I’m sorry for in-interrupting….”

She was ready to hear for her to get lost and for the girl to scramble out of this room, but the other girl was still in her seat. She placed the bottom of the guitar down onto the floor and folded her hands over the top.

A small laugh escaped from her lips. “It’s okay. I wasn’t expecting an audience yet.”

Joohyun peered up from the floor and forced herself to stop fidgeting with her fingers. “Y-Yet?”

The girl nodded and smiled. “It’s a piece I’m learning for the winter concert, and it kind of was supposed to be a surprise for the whole school. But seeing that you’re here, it’s not really a surprise anymore.”

Joohyun nervously laughed. She felt the corner of her lips twitching from how stupidly edgy she was.

“I-I mean, I’m just one person. It’s not like I recorded it or a-anything like that,” she said.

The girl raised an eyebrow. Her eyes evidently scanned Joohyun from head to toe, and truth be told, the latter was not holding anything remotely similar to a device that could record.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

Joohyun appeared alarmed. There was the question.

“I-I, uh… I heard you singing, so I just wanted to listen and see who it was….”

The girl lightly hummed as a response. She moved to place her guitar into the hard suitcase resting on a couple of chairs next to her.

“You sing well, by the way,” Joohyun added. “I-I really like your voice.”

The girl zipped up her case and stood up to sling it around her arm.

“Yeah, I know,” she said with a confident smile while striding over toward Joohyun. “I should be since I’m the lead in choir.”

“O-Oh.”

Now, Joohyun felt a little bit dumb.

But the girl did not think too much about it. She was face to face with Joohyun now, granting the latter a clearer view of her facial features, which, by the way, were quite beautiful to her standards. A nicely shaped face with clear, big eyes and a smile wide enough to show all of her white teeth.

Gorgeous.

“It’s okay. It’s not like the other students want to pay five bucks just to see a boring orchestra playing for two hours.” She snorted at the unfortunate realization. “What’s your name, by the way?”

“Oh, I’m Joohyun…”

The girl’s lips curled up into a small smile once again. “Well, nice to meet you, Joohyun. I’m Seungwan.”

_Son Seungwan._

**

Joohyun did not expect to become closer to her after that awkward encounter. Well, awkward for Joohyun, at least. Seungwan appeared so confident it did not seem it would bother her as much as it would for Joohyun. And all Joohyun could do for the first couple of months was think back to that time where she eavesdropped on her singing and wished she had approached the whole situation differently.

But even then, maybe their friendship would not turn out to be the way it was.

Joohyun was constantly hanging out at the Music Hall after classes instead of studying at the library. Her usual table became her friends’ hangout place and she did not want to bother with their conversations anymore, at least not right now when she did not have anything to chime in with. Being with Seungwan at the moment was not too bad anyway. It was comforting to observe her strum her guitar or hear a bit of her singing.

There were days where Joohyun would just watch Seungwan silently practice and there were other days where Seungwan would take a break and learn a different song upon her request. At first Joohyun did not want to steer Seungwan away from her practicing, especially when the winter concert was about a few weeks away, but the latter insisted and wanted to relieve her mind from doing something she was tasked to do.

So, Joohyun spewed out one of her favorite songs and she almost immediately fell in love with the fact that Seungwan was able to play the first minute of it in an hour. Seungwan decided that she should only learn up to there because she wanted to be able to accompany the strumming with her voice, which she eventually did.

Joohyun felt her chest clenching and the warmth coursing throughout her body once again when Seungwan opened her mouth to sing. She peered up from her fingers strumming the guitar to her face, eyes closed and a slight smile curled.

Lost in her expression, lost in her singing, lost in her guitar playing.

Joohyun actually thought she was falling in love with this side of Seungwan.

And she knew she did when she only paid attention to Seungwan and Seungwan only when the winter concert came around at their school’s amphitheater. The other students were definitely amazing with their assigned instruments as well as whoever was singing at that time, but Joohyun only wanted to hear Seungwan.

By the time the concert ended, Joohyun rose from her seat, a bouquet of flowers in her hands. She thought it was too much to even think about getting these delicate, aromatic lilies, but everyone else had flowers as well so she did not seem like the odd one out. Seungwan just finished embracing her parents with a sweet smile on her face when Joohyun approached her. The former was surprised, to say the least, to see Joohyun with a bouquet of flowers she absolutely adored.

“Oh, my gosh, Joohyun….”

Said girl slightly panicked upon the response. She held the bouquet by the stems tightly, slightly covering her face. “I-I, I remembered you saying that you liked lilies, so I thought I-I would get them for you. U-Um, sorry, is this too much? I-I can always just bring it back w-with—“

“No, no, Joohyun.” Seungwan giggled behind her hand before she brightly smiled at the stuttering mess. “It’s okay. I like it a lot.”

It was the first time Joohyun saw Seungwan’s parents. They observed the whole scene unfold before their eyes, and Seungwan’s mother smiled when Joohyun stuttered, and Seungwan’s father chuckled when Joohyun rambled.

It was almost like they saw themselves in the two girls.

Seungwan’s parents bid their farewell and left, reminding the lead choir to return home on time for dinner. Seungwan turned back to Joohyun with another smile gracing her face, holding the lilies close to her chest.

“Do you want to do something?”

They ended up at a nearby café with steaming mugs of hot chocolate in their hands. When they were chatting, it was almost as if they had not learned anything about each other already during the times Joohyun would visit Seungwan at the music room. It was almost as if they were just starting to understand each other again, as if they were on a _date_. Because they were talking on and on and transitioning from one topic to another and giving “aws” and “wows.”

Joohyun suddenly flushed up at the idea of a “date” while Seungwan was passionately and animatedly talking about another interest of hers besides music.

Who was she kidding?

Of course this was not a date.

It was a friend’s outing, and Joohyun was sure that Seungwan thought so as well.

She lifted the mug up to her lips, masking the fact that she was not actually sipping, but more so covering her lower face.

It was not the time to be contemplating too much about the mere idea of being together with Seungwan, at least not when the girl in question was basically the only person she enjoyed being with at the moment.

There was not any evidence whatsoever how Seungwan felt about her anyway.

Probably just a friend.

“Oh, shoot! It’s past eight already!” Seungwan exclaimed, her rigid posture indicating her impending departure.

Joohyun lowered her mug down onto the table and proceeded to gather her belongings to leave with Seungwan. “Wow, I didn’t think we would lose track of time.”

“Yeah,” Seungwan agreed and laughed despite the fact that she was going to get into trouble when she gets home. “I guess that’s what happens when you’re in good company.”

She turned back to glance over at Joohyun, whose cheeks were colored with a healthy blush.

“Cold?”

Joohyun felt warm still, in fact.

“H-Huh? Oh, yeah, it’s winter, so….”

When Seungwan returned home that night to a mother reprimanding her for staying out too late, she messaged Joohyun that she got home safe first thing.

**

It was back to their little getaways at the music room and Seungwan was learning a new favorite song of Joohyun’s. It got to that point where Joohyun watched Seungwan all day, watched the way her fingers plucked and strummed the strings, the way she made a little noise of complaint when she could not get the chords right on the first try, the way her lips curled a bit when she sang along with the instrument, or even the way she gazed into her eyes some times and widened her smile while doing so.

The organ against her chest began to beat faster than ever because of a thought crossing her mind.

Joohyun desired to be something more to Seungwan.

The musician made her feel warm even on the coldest of days. She made her admire her bright smile or her lame jokes, which she actually laughed at as well. She made her love the sight of a concentrated and determined Seungwan whenever she was learning a new song to play just for Joohyun.

Seungwan made Joohyun fall in love.

“Seungwan….” Joohyun called out softly.

Said girl was in the middle of tuning up her guitar with a tuner installed on her phone. She looked up almost immediately at the call of her name, the last tune up echoing off the walls of the room. It became eerily silent until Seungwan raised an eyebrow and hummed a response.

Joohyun gazed at her for a moment longer, but the strange thing was for her, Seungwan was not doing anything in particular to dispel the silence. She was returning the gaze, staring back into Joohyun’s soul; it was almost as if she _knew_ what Joohyun was going to do in the next few minutes.

A corner of Seungwan’s mouth tugged up when she finally asked, “What is it, Joohyun?”

No words were given in response.

Instead, there was more of the lingering gaze from Joohyun and a decreasing distance between the two. Joohyun gripped tightly onto the edge of her seat when her upper body leaned more towards Seungwan, and their lips touched lightly and Joohyun’s eyes are shut tightly and Seungwan was moderately surprised at the sudden kiss and Joohyun just—

She forced herself back just as fast as her lips touched Seungwan’s.

Her heart was beating and her mind was running.

 _Why, oh why, did I do that_?

Curse Joohyun and her tendency to do whatever her heart desired!

But Seungwan was not making a motion regarding the light kiss. Instead, she gently placed her phone and her guitar onto the row of seats behind her, turning back with a pleased smile.

“Do you…” Seungwan started, garnering Joohyun’s attention and for her to finally open her eyes, “…like me?”

Joohyun gulped the dry lump in her throat. “Was that too little of a sign for you?”

Seungwan shook her head while leaning closer toward Joohyun. “No, it was just enough.”

They both figured that Joohyun was unnecessarily too scared to continue on from this point, so Seungwan took the liberty to press her lips back onto the soft feeling she felt earlier, gently molding their mouths together.

It was soft, short, and sweet, like the first kiss Joohyun imagined in her dreams with the person she liked.

Seungwan backed away gradually.

“Sorry, I’m actually in a relationship with my guitar right now….”

Joohyun smacked her on the shoulder. “Hey!”

They began their quiet yet comfortable relationship from there on out, sneaking cute kisses and cuddles whenever they were at the music room or at each other’s bedrooms. Joohyun could not help the fluttering feeling within her body whenever Seungwan was around. She made her feel so happy with her life.

Since they barely started their last semester for high school, it was the time when acceptances from their preferred colleges were going to come one by one. Despite not knowing each other at the beginning of the school year, Joohyun learned that Seungwan applied to all different types of worthy schools, but there was one that the she yearned to attend to since the start of her high school career—the top university back at her home country.

It all made sense to Joohyun now when she realized that Seungwan was originally raised in Canada. It would explain the impeccable English she had as well as her not so common Korean features. There was a time where Seungwan spoke about wanting to visit Canada for a long time now; the last time she was there was when she was forced to move as a child with her parents. Seungwan wondered how grown her Canadian friends were, how her family besides her parents were, or even how the country was as a whole.

It saddened Joohyun to hear how much Seungwan truly wanted to head back to Canada, but it was understandable to want to return to your first, real home.

It just meant being away from her source of happiness.

That was only just a small period of time for Joohyun to dwell on the thought, for Seungwan no longer brought up the topic when it was just them two.

But it was brought back up a week after prom.

Joohyun would never forget the way Seungwan asked her out to this grand dance. They were both alone in Joohyun’s bedroom, watching a couple of their favorite TV shows. Seungwan had brought a couple of bags when she came into her house earlier that day. When asked what was inside, it was always a feeble attempt of an excuse, _“No, I can’t show it to you! It’ll just ruin the surprise.”_

So, they sat there for another episode until Joohyun was called down to the kitchen by her mother to help prepare dinner for the three of them. Her mother was a busy one, working a high-end job an hour away from their home and only having time to enjoy a delicious dinner whenever it was on the weekend. However, it was the middle of the week and it was a bit alarming to see her mother back at home so early.

When asked, her mother stated that she was let off early because of the flu going around in the office. She could not afford to be sick at this time of year, especially when it was just the two of them at home.

Preparation for dinner took about forty-five minutes and Joohyun was allowed to leave after she finished setting up the table. It was done in no time and just when she was about to see if her mother required any more assistance, the latter was oddly shooing her away from the kitchen, saying that she has done enough for now. Odd because Joohyun’s mother usually needed her assistance to the very end of washing the dishes.

“We’ve left Seungwan alone for too long. Hurry up and get back to her,” said her mother.

Joohyun did not think twice about it and proceeded to go along with what her mother said. She pushed her door open like how she would on any other day, but she was greeted with flickers of light spreading across the floor and a Seungwan sitting on the edge of her bed decorated with rose petals. A guitar was resting on her lap and she immediately started strumming to the first song she ever learned for Joohyun.

It was an understatement to say that Joohyun was surprised. She closed the door behind her, expecting to see her lights on and Seungwan munching away on chips on her bed when she returned.

She did not expect to see candles decorating her floor, lined up in letters to spell out, _“Prom?_ ” with rose petals shaped into a heart surrounding it. She did not expect to see Seungwan smiling at her upon her entrance nor with a guitar on her lap. She did not expect any of this at all.

A rush of feelings began to hit her one by one when Seungwan romantically serenaded her the first song she learned to play with her. The way her beautiful voice fit so perfectly with the light strumming of her guitar sent the butterflies back to Joohyun’s stomach.

By the time Seungwan strummed the last chord, she gently placed her guitar back into her case lying next to the foot of the bed. Joohyun was still frozen by the door, an almost petrified look on her face, which was not a really good sign for Seungwan. She cannot believe that Seungwan planned this all along and had her mother distract her.

“So…” Seungwan started and darted her eyes toward the candles on the floor. “Do you want to go to prom with me…?”

Fortunately, Joohyun was brought back from her trance only for her to dash across the room to crush Seungwan into a tight embrace.

“Of course I’ll go with you, dummy!” she exclaimed into her neck, voice muffled.

When they attended prom a few weeks later, Joohyun almost forgot that this was the dance that all her friends were looking forward to. The very same group she distanced herself from ever since she gotten to know Seungwan. They recently started talking again when Joohyun showed up at the library and they asked her constantly who she was going with, but she turned them down every time and said she was not going. She did not want to bring attention to herself nor to Seungwan, who did not deserve the pestering treatment from her friends if she introduced her to them.

The dance floor was a bit rowdy, especially with the large amount of couples gracing the dance floor. Seungwan and Joohyun snuck in a couple of risqué dances themselves to the mainstream pop songs the DJ was playing until they decided to call it a night and relax on the balcony of the hotel resort the prom was being held at.

“Have I ever told you that you’re beautiful?” Seungwan asked all of a sudden.

They were leaning against the rail, staring off into the waves crashing against the shore. The hotel resort was next to their local, beautiful beach.

Joohyun widely smiled. “You have…about five times this whole night. Well, six now.”

Seungwan turned to her and reached to tuck a loose hair strand behind her ear. “I’m not wrong, though.”

She leaned in to press their mouths together as one of the many passionate kisses that night.

They returned home early from the dance to Joohyun’s place. Her mother was out of town tonight for a last minute preparation back at the office, which was perfect for Joohyun, considering how she did not often get to be alone in a house with Seungwan.

Barging into her room, Seungwan’s hands were tangled into Joohyun’s silky hair, their mouths harshly breathed against each other.

“I-I can’t…” Seungwan exhaled against Joohyun’s neck. “I can’t… resist you….”

Seungwan ended up gracing the bed with her bare body and Joohyun hovering over her, mouths hot against their skin, hands roaming to cover every inch. They sent each other to euphoria for the first time ever, and Joohyun did not think her body and her mind would become so spent after fully loving Seungwan.

But she knew she would do it again with no hesitation.

Prom night was one of the most recent and exhilarating memories Joohyun had.

Until Seungwan told her she got accepted to her number one choice in Canada. Joohyun was definitely happy for her and wanted her to pursue her dreams, but Seungwan became hesitant at the thought.

“I… I don’t know if I want to go anymore….”

Joohyun shot her an incredulous look. “What are you talking about? You’ve been wanting to go to this school since freshmen year!”

Seungwan gripped onto her acceptance letter tightly. “I know… but I…”

“But you…?”

“I want to be with you… even after high school….”

Joohyun felt the tears welling up in her eyes when Seungwan spewed out those words.

She remembered who she was at the beginning of the school year. She remembered telling herself that she did not have time for petty, meaningless relationships like the one her used-to-be close friends would always get into. She remembered telling herself to just study, study, study so she could get into one of the best schools pertaining to the major that she wanted to pursue.

And she did get into the best school for her major, but it was here on this land and not somewhere across the ocean.

It was a little more than a year and a half since Joohyun and Seungwan first kissed at the music room, but it felt like Joohyun was still dating Seungwan on the first week of their relationship—flushed cheeks, rapid beating heart, butterflies in her stomach, and uncontrollable smiles.

It felt like that every day and Joohyun remembered she vowed that she would not trade anything in the world for this feeling.

Anything except for Seungwan’s long-term happiness.

Joohyun felt the tears streaming down her cheeks already, her mouth hurting from the sob threatening to escape, her chest clenching up tightly.

“We… we c-can’t,” she choked out. “We can’t.”

Seungwan’s lower lip trembled at the sight of Joohyun crying before her. “Why…?”

“Seungwan… Canada is where you truly belong…. Your whole family is there, your first friends are there, and your life is going to be there. As much as I would love for you to stay here with me, you can’t risk your future for someone like me.”

“S-Someone like you…?” Seungwan started to scoff in disbelief. “Joohyun… you’re my first love.”

Joohyun reached to grasp onto Seungwan by her hands. She sniffed and the tears continued to fall down onto their hands.

“And you are mine, too.”

“T-Then, w-why—“

“Because I love you, Seungwan!” Joohyun cried out, and the tears fell faster than ever. “B-Because I love you….”

Seungwan lowered her head and started to sob. It was becoming difficult to breathe at this state for the both of them, looking like a horrible mess.

“I-I love you, too….”

Joohyun hated herself at that point. She hated being a bit of a realist, she hated how she did not become selfish and allowed Seungwan to stay the next four years with her, she hated how she had to think about their future whether they were together or not.

But as much as Joohyun hated herself, when she was able to think about their relationship with a clear mind, she knew she did this for the better. She was not fond of the idea of having a long-distance relationship and she knew their relationship would not end lightly, especially during the period of time where they were still growing and learning new things.

Although they ended on a mutual note the night of graduation, Joohyun still went to see Seungwan off at the airport. She still ran up to Seungwan with tears trailing down her cheeks once again before the latter went through the gate, and she placed one last messy kiss on her lips.

The second Seungwan kissed back and walked through the gate, the second Joohyun knew it was going to be the last time she would see her.

Seungwan was someone who was the right person, but someone she met at the wrong time.

Seungwan was her first.

Seungwan took her first kiss, her first date, her first time making love.

And honestly, Joohyun would not have it any other way.

**_Son Seungwan—_ **

**_One was Son Seungwan._ **


	2. part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joohyun's second love, Song Minho. The love who indirectly taught her that not all love is the same and will never be the same.

**_Two was_ **

Joohyun had yet to understand about _anyone_ getting over someone they were deeply and infatuatedly in love with.

It was nearly impossible at this point, especially for Joohyun. She and Seungwan did not exactly end their relationship on bad terms—it was still vague, still open in the air, still a chance for them to rekindle what was there. There was not a day where she did not think about Seungwan. With the way they left each other on a mutual note, there was not going to be a problem messaging Seungwan, but this was from an outsider’s perspective. If she had initiated a conversation, _if Seungwan decided to instead_ , then there was no telling whether or not Joohyun would be able to stop her yearning for the latter.

Their affection towards each other was that kind of relationship directly from the big screen.

However, Seungwan was most likely situated in a dorm at one of Canada’s top universities, and so was she in her own dorm.

Joohyun was gradually pacing down the main pathway on campus, taking her time to head to her first class of the day. It was a massive lecture hall when she found her classroom, and although she would usually take the opportunity to sit in the front and remain to be as studious as she was, she decided to take a seat three rows from the last. Students were filing into the classroom relatively soon, and they all decided to sit in the front or the middle, until two rowdy boys decided to sit next to Joohyun.

Joohyun ignored it at first and did not want to think too much about it. However, they decided to be boisterous and caused a ruckus in the back, laughing and hitting each other for God knows why. They were fitting the stereotype of college jocks, and as much as Joohyun did not want to portray them as so, it was becoming difficult.

Just about five more minutes until class started and maybe they would be respectful and quiet—that was the thought until she felt a paper ball smack her on the side of her head.

She immediately glared at them and was met with a boy whose face looked as if he had seen horror as well as another boy who was snickering behind his hand.

The scared boy next to her finally mustered up the courage to apologize.

“S-Sorry, we didn’t mean to hit you,” he said.

Joohyun gave him one last look before turning back to the front without a verbal response. There was no point in engaging with these mindless boys anyway.

“Um…” she felt a tap on her shoulder. “If you don’t mind, can I ask what your name is?”

Joohyun side glanced the boy.

“Joohyun,” she replied with a voice so firm, so steady.

“Oh, that’s a pretty name!” the boy exclaimed, probably attempting to mask the fact that he embarrassed himself in front of one of the prettiest girls he had ever seen. “My name is Minho. This is my friend, Jackson.”

Joohyun could have cared less for their names.

But Minho was one to remember.

Song Minho, in fact.

Assigned seating was a rarity in college, but it was an unspoken rule that if you see someone sit in the same spot for weeks, then it was basically their unofficial assigned seat. It was always Joohyun, Minho, and Jackson in the back and in that exact order. When the time came around to do a group project, Minho jumped the gun to ask Joohyun first and Jackson second. Joohyun did not have a choice but to accept his offer, considering the fact that she practically knew nobody else in the lecture hall.

It was a research project in their world geography class and they had to come up with several countries that had an abnormal amount of deaths of anyone under the age of 5. The research was not difficult when they were provided resources, but when working with jokesters like Minho and Jackson, Joohyun was taking longer than necessary to complete the project.

Just working with them granted Joohyun the chance to know the two a tad bit better, though. Jackson was all about working out late at night and dating any girls within his standards. Minho was slightly the opposite—he was all about producing music late at night and not having any time to date girls. But despite these two differences, Minho and Jackson were still the best of friends with some similar interests.

Although Jackson expressed his desire to date Joohyun, she would not think twice to date a man like him. He was sleazy with the way he approached girls, he was the type of guy to check himself out in the mirror at the gym, and he was the one to ignore all other girls not within his standards—almost being rude to them—just to get in one girl’s pants. Joohyun did not exactly experience all of this first hand, but it was still something to consider should she get bonked up in the head and decided to date Jackson.

Minho, on the other hand, did attempt his hardest to impress Joohyun, and she was not going to lie, it was adorable seeing the boy try to excel in sports in front of her (when Jackson was usually the one to score the goals) or anything else of the like. But there was one thing that Joohyun was definitely impressed with and she was surprised that Minho did not believe producing music was amazing to her or anyone else who was not pursuing that career. Whenever he was deep into thought with what beat went with which, Joohyun could see how focused he was and how passionate he could be whenever he talked about it with her.

He was one of the only friends here at college, so it was not unusual to other people to see the two together with or without Jackson. It may appear strange to anyone else that Joohyun was still bothering with these two after receiving a paper ball to the head. But they were straight out of high school like she was; she just happened to be more mature.

Maybe the strange thing here was how someone as massively tall and broodingly handsome as Song Minho was able to constantly be around someone as adorably short and beautifully elegant as Bae Joohyun.

Or how Minho thought he would bring Joohyun with him to their local beach for one of their seasonal events and ask her out on a date.

Or how he _actually_ succeeded.

Joohyun was still hung over Seungwan at this point. She was still thinking about her, still scrolling through their pictures together, still bitterly smiling over their memories. Seungwan was perfect and Joohyun actually thought about doing _anything_ to be together with her again, but then she thought once more—if _she_ was the one who broke it off first, then it would be pathetic for her to come running back, would it not? It was a bit of a pride situation here, but it was also reality. They broke it off for a reason and they will remain so _for a reason_.

It was just that Joohyun could not seem to fully wrap this around her head.

So, she believed trying to be with someone else who was _not_ Seungwan would help.

Someone who was completely different; someone who may not actually be able to play acoustic, but was still able to produce music; someone with a raspy voice and a dark, sexy appearance; someone who was _not_ _Seungwan_.

Someone who was Minho.

It was terrifying and amazing, but it actually worked.

On certain days, Joohyun would find herself sitting at the library diligently doing her work when a pair of hands would cover her eyes. She would naturally smile when it was Minho, who was the playful one in the relationship. She gradually stopped thinking about Seungwan without having to act depressed in front of everyone and forging up an excuse by mumbling that was she “tired” or that she had a “long day.” She was glad for that because there were days where Minho would just gaze at her and say, “You look happier lately. It’s nice.”

Minho and Joohyun went on two more dates since the time he brought her to the seasonal event at the beach. They went to an amusement park for their third date, and although the roller coasters look terrifying to be on and the snack stands look fattening to stomach, Joohyun was ecstatic to be here for the first time since she was a child.

For their first ride, Minho thought it would be great to get on the most monstrous roller coaster Joohyun had ever seen. She heard the piercing screams from the passengers of the ride, how they were spinning through loops and hanging upside down at some parts of the tracks. She looked over with a horrified expression at Minho, but the latter was in awe and he was almost laughing at this point. He looked like a little boy, more so when he turned to her with a finger pointed at the roller coaster, and it was cute for Joohyun to witness.

Too cute to the point where Joohyun failed to reject his offer to get on that darn scary roller coaster, and now here she was, knuckles turning white from clutching onto the safety bar securely in front of her.

“I’m so excited!” Minho exclaimed and clapped a little bit. Even his feet were stomping. He glanced over at his date. “Aren’t you excited?”

Joohyun was terrified.

“Y-Yeah….”

And off they went.

Joohyun was propelled back and forth and tossed side-to-side; she actually thought that her neck might snap in two. But this roller coaster was ridiculously fast, as fast as the beats of her heart, probably, and she accidentally released the safety latch on her body but managed to grab something else instead, something soft and rough at the same time. It did not matter at this point what it was as long as it would be able to grasp her tightly until the ride was over.

It felt like years when Joohyun was finally able to normally breathe again. She pushed her messy hair strands back and wearily hurled a glance at Minho, who had a wide grin donning his face and a strong, firm grip on her hand. Her eyes darted down to what her hand had been holding onto this whole time and she had not realized she was able to grab onto Minho’s hand in the middle of the ride.

“Wasn’t that fun?” he asked, not minding the fact that they were still holding hands.

“God, that was terrifying…. Let’s not go on this ride ever again, please,” pleaded Joohyun.

As soon as one of the coordinators lifted up the bars, Minho led the way toward the exit to engage in activities more suitable for Joohyun. They played carnival-esque games to calm themselves from the roller coaster before waiting in line for one of the more major rides in the amusement park, but Joohyun was glad that Minho decided to not take her on more scary roller coasters after that.

Night fall soon hung over their heads and they sat on one of the patchy, green grass in this make-believe world to view the fireworks that were going to start in a moment. Minho was definitely prepared for this date with his knowledge of the amusement park, such as the use of fast pass tickets and which areas patrons tend to not frequent as much anymore. He laid out a blanket onto the grass for them to sit on and he was sprawled on one side, leaving the other side for Joohyun.

“I hope you’re hungry,” he said, and whipped out a basket of nourishments from chips to fruits he got from multiple of vendors nearby.

Now that he said so, Joohyun did feel famished. She ransacked the basket for something light to start first, but felt an oddly sharp corner pricking her fingertips. Eyebrows furrowed, she picked up the object that she was sure did not belong in a food basket, and was met with a square-shaped, decorated envelope that had its flap loosely tucked.

“What’s this?” she asked and turned to Minho.

The boy in question was leaning back on his hands with a small smirk gracing his face. He nodded to the envelope.

“Open it,” he said.

Joohyun did, albeit quite hesitantly, and gasped at the jewels sparkling in the night. She delicately picked up the necklaces from its confinements, gently placing the envelope to the side to gaze at the pendants, one with an M and the other with a J.

Minho was chuckling. “Cheesy, I know, but I actually thought these look pretty nice.”

“T-They are….” Joohyun whipped her head around to Minho. “H-How? W-Why did you get these?”

Minho properly positioned himself next to Joohyun and grabbed the necklace with his initial.

“Joohyun, we’ve been on a few dates already and I’ve grown to like you so much for who you are….” He unclasped the necklace and glanced up to see Joohyun gazing at him so tenderly. “If you will let me put this necklace around you, then it will mean the world to me to be able to call you my girlfriend.”

Joohyun did not give it much thought to accept the request. She turned her back to Minho, gathering her hair into one hand to lift it for the latter to clasp the necklace around her. As soon as she felt the cool piece of jewelry against her skin, she turned back to Minho and pulled him into a sweet kiss.

The fireworks decorated the night sky shortly after, but they became too engrossed in the fact that they finally became official that night to view the scenery.

Jackson was not surprised to see the two come back as a desired item. He already felt it in his bones, he said, and that Minho would be the one to snatch Joohyun and not him. It was a given, and he did not seem too bothered about it anyway. It only would mean that Minho would spend even less time with him now.

They were at the honeymoon stage where they did not really know any better, especially Joohyun. They were making long-term commitments without foreseeing the future, they were deeply attracted to each other and could really care less about the others around them, and they believed they would last a very long time—maybe their whole lifetime.

But when there was happiness, there was also unhappiness.

Despite their initial, strong attraction toward each other, there were also fights ranging from small, petty ones to massive ones, which separated the two for weeks, maybe even months, without speaking.

Joohyun did not recognize at which moment they entered the stage of confusion and depression during their relationship. She assumed being with Minho was her main source of contentment, and it was for that great six months at the beginning, until they started fighting and yelling for no good purpose. It led her to believe that Minho became gravely unattractive during all the times he was shouting at her and throwing things around her. It was almost like she did not understand him anymore.

Evidently there were times where they did make up from their fights. Minho apologized and said he was in the wrong, stumbling forward to plant kisses on her lips. It worked for a while because Joohyun wanted nothing more than to return to that time where it was all laughter and kisses and cuddling and loving. She wanted nothing more than to just be in Minho’s strong arms, watching their favorite genre of movies in his dorm with a bowl of buttered popcorn in hand. She wanted nothing more than to just lay down next to Minho and listen to his rapid yet soothing heart beat after an exhilarating night of making love.

And it all came down and dawned on her to grasp the actuality that all she had been trying to do during their fights was making an effort to fix it.

She kept trying to fix what was wrong without comprehending the fact that after fixing something once, it would never be the same again.

She came to realize that in her high school, straight-out-of-the-book relationship with Seungwan, it did not help her with love fights. It only helped her realize what made her satisfied, and it began the search of her identity.

She was lost in this relationship with Minho. She was new, a cute puppy compared to a ravage dog, a love novice who was trying to resolve the fights because she believed that all her relationships was supposed to be like the one she had with Seungwan.

She was trying to pit Minho against Seungwan in her mind, and she was only starting to realize it only after Minho decided that it was best to part ways.

It was silent when they met up at the beach where they had their first date.

Minho started slouching, cheeks were sunken in, and eyes were droopy. His physical and mental state of health were not in the best shape, and it did not help that he was working on one of the biggest music productions at the time, causing him to stay up for endless of nights to produce the best beats imaginable on top of his general academics.

Joohyun did not look great herself either, what with her frail body covered by the largest of sweaters and her used-to-be silky hair a mess on her head. She was not eating as much ever since she noticed that her nights with Minho did not end up with her being ecstatic anymore.

It was that night when Minho decided to take things into his own hands and break their ties. Although tamed and quiet compared to their back and forth fighting, it was the ugliest that Joohyun had ever felt. She reached up to the necklace prettily hanging over her neck and yanked on the M initial so tough the clasp broke. She harshly threw it onto the ground, but dropped down next to it not that long after, hands covered by her sweater sleeves to wipe away the endless stream of tears pooling from her eyes.

They might have ended it all where it first began and they might have been facing each other with strained necks and harsh voices the last few months, but Joohyun knew that after a good while, she would be able to reflect back onto this and actually appreciate Minho.

As peculiar as it sounded, Joohyun actually did learn a lot from this relationship.

She learned to no longer attempt to place an individual to a standard set by another. Everyone was different and did things differently; they were their own person, which was why no relationship could be the same as the other.

She learned to stay strong against someone who would try to belittle her. People tend to say the most horrible things when they were not in their right state of mind, and that was the case for Minho. He was livid and his emotions got the better of him, but Joohyun would always remember that time so as to not replicate his actions.

And she learned more about her own identity.

As uncharacteristically terrible this relationship took a turn, Joohyun would not regret it one bit. She was the one who made her own decisions and she was glad that she did. She grown to love the pompous jerk _(to others)_ who was Song Minho, who indirectly helped her cope, and she saw new sides of her come to light.

Minho loved her for who she presented herself as, led her the pathway to find who she truly was, and made her realize that you could fix things so many times in your life before it became something that it was not initially.

Minho was her second.

And Minho was greatly treasured.

**_Song Minho—_ **

**_Two was Song Minho._ **


	3. part three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joohyun's third love, who enters her life unexpectedly and unknowingly helps her cope in a natural, adorable way.

It had been a year since Joohyun graduated college.

She was sharing an apartment with a close friend she fortunately made after her breakup with Minho. Park Sooyoung was chatty with her words and noisy with her actions, it was a wonder how Joohyun managed to be around her still. Her housemate was reminiscent of the friends she had back in high school, and Joohyun thought she would no longer associate with anyone who was remotely similar to them. However, things changed and Sooyoung was not _too_ horrible to be around. She met the girl, who was two years younger than her, in one of her business classes and they were paired up to do a group project together, which granted them the opportunity to learn more things about each other on a personal level.

Sooyoung listened to her well when Joohyun was found crying one night on the living room couch. She spilled all of her pent up frustration from the past few years onto the younger girl, who probably had her mind jumbled with a lot of information from her two exes. However, Sooyoung did not think about her differently after that, and Joohyun was glad she was able to come home to a livelier atmosphere from her demanding retail job in one of the high-ends shopping mall.

Joohyun groaned as she climbed up to the fourth floor in her heels and tight, formal outfit. Work was a drag for her when the holiday season was coming around. Patrons of a middle class shopping mall would pour into where Joohyun was standing, acting polite to each and every person who entered. Unfortunately for her kind soul, there were some persistent customers who would incessantly pester her about the newest bag on the fashion line when it was clearly being sold out by the minute. Some of them could not seem to take “no” for an answer regarding the handbags.

When she finally reached the door to her apartment, she almost fell inside if it were not for her hands gripping tightly onto the shoe rack in the foyer. A breath of relief was released when she took off her crushing heels and stacked them onto the rack, her aching feet using up the last bits of effort to drag her onto the nearest form of comfort, which was the living room couch.

“Another long day, unnie?”

Joohyun’s face was pressed against the cushion, not realizing she had interrupted Sooyoung in the middle of her watching a television drama. She lifted up her head to the point where she could see Sooyoung out of her peripheral.

“Yeah, there was a customer who was yelling at me for something stupid,” Joohyun grumbled, and she swung an arm around to the big, white bowl in Sooyoung’s lap. “Is this popcorn?”

“Yup,” Sooyoung said with a mouthful.

Joohyun grabbed a few pieces and popped them into her mouth. “Mm, nice. I’m hungry.”

Just as she had her few moments of rest from a long, typical day at work, she made her way to the kitchen to whip up something more filling to eat. Sooyoung was not paying much attention while popping the popcorn into her mouth one after another until she saw Joohyun looking into the fridge.

“Oh, yeah, unnie!” she called out. Joohyun spun on the heels of her feet with a raised eyebrow. “There’s mail for you on the table. One of them looks pretty fancy, by the way.”

The raised eyebrow remained as Joohyun closed the door to the fridge. All thoughts of fixing up something to eat vanished when she approached the round, dinner table, hands reaching out toward the messy stack of envelopes in the middle. She grabbed the “fancy” red envelope first, square in size and unusually thick in shape. Sooyoung was equally as curious as her when she came around the table with the bowl of popcorn still glued to her hands.

“What is it?” she asked.

Joohyun shot her a look. “I haven’t opened it yet, dummy.”

When Sooyoung pouted, Joohyun averted her gaze back onto the envelope for the sender. She wished there was not any reaction upon the familiarity of the name. There was no explanation as to why Son Seungwan would be sending her a letter, and how the heck did she know where to send it to? The two were not really on speaking terms ever since Seungwan stepped onto the plane, and even if they did not end their relationship on a horrible note, Joohyun still thought it was awkward to attempt any form of communication.

She tried to calm down her rapidly beating heart by sitting down at the dinner table. Sooyoung followed suit on the other side, but more so out of curiosity with what was inside that letter that was making Joohyun feel this way.

“Are you okay, unnie?” she asked. “Who is it from?”

“It’s from Seungwan… The girl I told you about the other day,” Joohyun replied. She grimaced when she looked at the letter. “Do you think I should open it?”

“Well… why not?” Sooyoung replied with a shrug of her shoulders. “From what you told me, it didn’t seem like you hated her when you guys broke up.”

“Yeah, but…” Joohyun heaved a heavy sigh. “It’s kind of bringing back unwanted feelings all of a sudden.”

“Well, I say you still open it,” said Sooyoung. “It might be something really important, like, oh, she’s sick and this is her last let—“

“Sooyoung!” Joohyun exclaimed with a frown. “I don’t want to think about it that way.”

Sooyoung smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”

Joohyun twirled the envelope around for a few more seconds before laying it flat on the table. She carefully peeled the flap open, going as gradual as possible, and was immediately hit by a strong scent of lavender. Her nose crinkled at the smell. She remembered Seungwan’s hair smelling like lavender back in high school, and it would become especially prominent whenever she would wrap her arms around her from the back. Joohyun usually felt at ease when embracing Seungwan, her nose buried in her silky hair with her eyes closed as if she was in a dream.

Her heart clenched at the thought, and she tried to brush it away with a shake of her head.

Joohyun felt a sturdy piece of cardstock inside the envelope and she pulled it out. It was a folded, white invitation with gold swirls surrounding the borders of the card. The tips of her fingers gently grazed the glitter decorated onto the gold before she opened the card.

Her breathing hitched and her heart felt as though it dropped to the pits of her stomach. She had not realized her hands were trembling when Sooyoung pointed it out, the other girl reaching over to carefully hold Joohyun by the wrist with a worried expression painted over her face.

Joohyun gulped a dry lump in her throat and set the card down as gently as possible before pushing it away.

“Joohyun unnie…?” Sooyoung’s voice was light and careful. “Are you… okay?”

Joohyun’s bottom lip was caught in between her teeth, refraining the aching traveling from her stomach to her throat.

“I’m-I’m okay,” Joohyun said, albeit not confidently. “I’ll be okay.”

Not trusting her words, Sooyoung desired to know what was behind that card which made the older girl appeared uneasy. She grabbed the card, with silent permission, of course, and cautiously scanned the containments written inside.

_Mr. & Mrs. Son Seungwoo_

_Cordially invite you to celebrate the marriage between_

_Kim Junmyeon_

_&_

_Son Seungwan_

_on 15 January 2017_

_at_

_Cathedral of Seoul, Seoul, South Korea_

_5:00 PM_

The grip Sooyoung had suddenly loosened, the cardstock slipping out. She averted her gaze to Joohyun, who was staring up at the ceiling with tears welled up in her eyes and her hands tightly locked beneath her nose.

It was funny how Joohyun thought all of her feelings for Seungwan completely vanished, but honestly, who was she kidding? She knew that although it lessened throughout the duration of dating Minho, it was still there. _It never left_ , and it was terrifying how much she clung onto a first love. It was not like she never truly loved Minho—she did, and she did not regret having dated these two special persons one bit.

But when you received an invitation to attend one of your ex’s wedding at a time where your feelings have not truly died down, then it did some unexplainable damage.

“I’m sorry, unnie…” Sooyoung mumbled softly.

Joohyun attempted to smile, but the corners of her mouth ended up twitching, and she decided to drop it all together.

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

She said it to herself more than anyone else.

**

It was another long day at work with Christmas being a few days away. White snow was falling from the sky and chilled breaths were exhaled from mouths. Joohyun bid farewell to her co-workers who were heading off to the opposite direction of her because of traffic in the morning forcing them to park on opposite wings of the mall. Her store was located at the west wing; however, she had to walk over towards the south wing where her car was parked, and she never usually found a purpose there unless she was shopping on her day off (and those days were rare to begin with).

A few changes were made at this side of the mall, which Joohyun heard about from one of her co-workers, actually. They mentioned about another store opening up, and although their focus was not retail, it still garnered a lot of attention for being one of the few gift shops with adorable stuffed animals and toys.

Joohyun’s pace almost stopped when she spotted said store just closing up. The owner was pulling down the gates and locking it up, but right before she did, Joohyun was able to catch a glimpse of what was inside—plush toys ranging from all sizes on the display window and a set of pillow bunnies.

“Oh, hi!”

Joohyun quickly averted her gaze from the bunnies to the owner, who wore a bright smile on her face. She was slightly taller than her, slender, and looked like a typical Korean beauty, but there was a charming feature about her that was entrancing. Joohyun could not quite pick it out though.

“Sorry, if you were looking to buy something, we just closed up…”

Joohyun was alarmed. “Oh, no! I wasn’t—I wasn’t doing any shopping…”

“Oh!” the girl giggled a little bit, and it was comforting to hear, making Joohyun believed that she was the type of person to try and ease up any awkwardness in the air. “Sorry about that, I just thought you were… yeah….”

Joohyun shook her head. “Oh, no. I’m a sales associate up at _Hermes_.”

The other girl turned around to fully face her, stuffing the set of keys to the store in her bag. Joohyun couldn’t help but give her one glance from head to toe, noticing how wonderfully slim yet toned she appeared in casual clothing. She fidgeted a little bit in her tight blouse and pencil skirt.

“Ah, I see,” the girl acknowledged, her hands wrapping around the handles of her bag while staring at Joohyun. “Oh, I’m sorry! I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Seulgi.” She delivered a full ninety degrees bow.

Joohyun made an incoherent sound, baffled at the sudden sign of respect. She bowed in return.

“Joohyun….” she replied with a soft voice.

**

Kang Seulgi was her full name.

She was the daughter of the store’s owner, actually, and Joohyun thought it was cute and fitting to see a charming, polite girl like her stacking up stuffed bears and bunnies around the shop. Seulgi mentioned some time during the many conversations they would have around closing time that she was in her first year of college, pursuing a degree in Music and Theater. Joohyun smiled bitterly to herself when she realized she was entranced by yet another individual who was remarkable in some type of music.

This time, Seulgi was an extraordinary dancer.

Joohyun would have never believed her if it were not for Seulgi and her dance group performing an act at the mall’s annual talent event. She found it a little bit humorous to know that the owner of this mall put in so many efforts to make every employee acquainted with one other. Joohyun had no problem with it, it was just that there were so many individuals to keep up with. But because Seulgi’s parents weren’t as mobile as their daughter was, Seulgi came out with her hip-hop group and put up one heck of a show. Joohyun hadn’t realized her jaw was slack until a co-worker playfully pushed it up, causing her to swallow the dry lump in her throat and cover her face. So much for the cringe worthy skit that she and her _Hermes_ crew put up.

“It’s okay. You’re not the only one who’s smitten,” Jongdae said.

He wasn’t wrong. Ever since that day, employees from all over the mall would rush down to see Seulgi on their break or when she was closing up _Morning Glory_. They saw how ridiculously gorgeous she looked while dancing, hand running through her hair and all. Joohyun felt a little bit bothered at the idea, considering how she didn’t walk by the south wing anymore since holiday traffic was long gone. She saw how nice Seulgi was, not once rejecting her potential suitors, all smiles and laughter. Joohyun sometimes wondered if Seulgi knew the underlying intentions behind some of these people.

It had been a month since their first encounter with small talks here and there. Joohyun didn’t think she would be able to get to know a person through conversations that revolved around pulling down gates and dangling car keys on fingers. Seulgi was refreshing to talk to; she was different, she was always smiling, and she seemed too good to be true to even exist. It was almost like she was a walking angel of some sort— _more so than Seungwan was in her eyes_.

Which abruptly brought her to a thought about said girl. 

With the holiday season beyond them, it was a week until Seungwan’s wedding. Joohyun had not had the time to even think about attending let alone find a dress fitting enough appear in. But it was Seungwan, her first love… if Joohyun didn’t go, then wouldn’t that just put a bad name for herself? Although the feelings weren’t as strong as it was when she was dating Minho, it was still apparent enough to have her stomach stirring and her chest clenching.

No matter if the wedding was tomorrow, a year later, or even a decade later, it was still going to hurt in some shape, way, or form.

Joohyun remembered about RVSPing the very last possible moment for Seungwan’s wedding, so when she went to search for the lavender-scented invitation, she only found an empty red envelope.

“Sooyoung, have you seen the wedding invitation anywhere?” she called out.

Sooyoung glanced from the bowl of popcorn. There were about five more bags left she still had to go through.

“Oh. I sent it back for you, unnie.”

Joohyun’s body froze up after shooting Sooyoung a disbelieving look. “Y-You what?”

Sooyoung popped a few more popcorns into her mouth. “I marked that you were attending, and I’m going to be your plus one.”

“W-W-Wait a second here, Sooyoung.” Joohyun forced herself out from her rooted position, red envelope clenched tightly in her hand. She wanted to laugh, thinking that this was all a joke that Sooyoung was playing on her because knowing her, she wouldn’t be surprised. But Sooyoung didn’t have that mischievous glint in her eyes she would usually have before breaking into full laughter. She had a raised eyebrow and a face that spoke, _“what, you think I’m joking?”_ Joohyun scoffed. “You’re telling me that I’m going to Seungwan’s wedding, which is only a week away, might I add!”

Sooyoung sighed and gently placed the bowl of popcorn onto the coffee table. She stood up to face a frantic Joohyun who was threatening to tear apart the envelope with her nails.

“Joohyun unnie,” she started. She carefully placed her hands onto the other girl’s shoulders, thumbs rubbing up and down. “She was your first love and you felt like you had the world with her, I know. I could tell the moment you talked about her compared to your other ex, Minho. But you didn’t end on bad terms with Seungwan. You had multiple of chances to love her again, and I’m sure she did, too. But I think it’s good for you to go to her wedding. It might really give you that closure of feelings you need.”

Joohyun slumped and dropped the envelope. “…But I…”

“Unnie, think about it.” Sooyoung pulled Joohyun down onto the couch, allowing her to relax against the soft cushion. “If you see her loving someone else, then wouldn’t that ultimately make you break? I think you need that in order to _finally_ move on.”

“You’re saying that I should go… to have my heart broken… again...?”

“Wouldn’t you want her to be happy with anyone she chooses to be?”

Joohyun dragged her nails against her thighs. The tears were starting to well up in her eyes again. “I’m just scared of what I might do when I see her… when I thought that back then was the last time I’ll ever see her…”

Sooyoung observed her for a little bit before sadly smiling. “That’s why I’m your plus one, unnie. I’ll be there for you, okay?”

Seeing Seungwan love someone else….

Knowing Minho found someone else….

Joohyun believed it was her time for her to move on as well.

“…Okay.”

**

The day of Seungwan’s wedding came closer than Joohyun wanted it to. She had to miss the reception part of the wedding because she was unable to find a cover for work, which was why she was frantically running around in her room, rummaging through her vanity desk to apply some makeup.

“Unnie, calm down! The ceremony is just another hour and a half.”

Joohyun was in the middle of rubbing on lipstick. “There is traffic, Sooyoung! We already missed the reception, what do you think they’ll say when we’re late to the actual ceremony as well?”

Sooyoung paced into her room donning a beautiful lavender dress with the top half of her burning red hair pinned back, making her lovely facial features pop out more. She walked up to Joohyun, who was sitting at her desk, and placed her hands on her bare shoulders.

“Unnie, you’ll be okay.”

They both knew the real reason why Joohyun was nervous and rushing with her appearance was because she was going to see Seungwan again after five years. Joohyun thought that the faster she dressed up, the faster everything else would be. Oh, how she wished that was the case.

Joohyun looked at Sooyoung through the mirror. And she looked back down. “Thank you, Sooyoung.”

“Unnie, you missed a spot here,” Sooyoung pointed out to a pale spot on her lips. “Here, let me help you with your makeup.”

It wasn’t long until Sooyoung finished with her makeup, and now they were putting on comfortable shoes with their fancy heels in their hands, walking down the apartment complex to Sooyoung’s car. Sooyoung offered to drive because who knew what kind of frustration would harbor within Joohyun if she were to be the one behind the wheel.

Road rage beyond the imaginable, probably.

Sooyoung pulled up to the venue safe and sound with Joohyun fidgeting every now and then, of course. The latter did not exactly prepare herself beforehand—what was the first thing that was going to come out of her mouth when she saw Seungwan in a wedding dress, how would she react whenever someone spoke to her, whenever someone from their high school saw her there? It wasn’t like Joohyun had a dress rehearsal about this. All Sooyoung did was help calm her down, but that only worked out for brief periods of time.

“Unnie, we’re here,” Sooyoung said after a moment of silence and looking from afar.

Joohyun remained immobile, seatbelt still buckled and eyes peering off to the entrance of the cathedral, people of all ages filing into the worship structure. Her fingers clasped tightly around the neatly wrapped gift box in her lap, a tag hanging off of the ribbon that said, _“From: Hyun.”_

“We should head in,” Sooyoung pressed on again. “Don’t want to be a minute late, right?”

Joohyun looked over at Sooyoung. She grimaced and nodded.

Churches were never anything fancy to Joohyun since all they provided was a place for individuals to worship their deity. However, when she stepped foot into this castle-like church, the ceilings were high up to the point where Joohyun thought it could go for miles and miles to try and touch the sky. The aisle, draped with a red velvet carpet, had arches of white lilies connecting from one row to another row on the other side. On the sides of the church were more arches, but this time it was for the actual structure itself. Window panes allowed the afternoon glow of the sunlight to peer through and paint a beautiful orange hue upon those who were walking around in the range.

And Joohyun did not expect to see someone she just began to know strolling around with the sun shining down on her.

Someone who had the very same adorable crescent-shaped eyes whenever she smiled, someone who grinned and laughed widely to show all of her white teeth, someone whom Joohyun learned to adore the more she crossed paths with her.

“Kang Seulgi?” she softly called out, but more to herself than anything.

Seulgi managed to pick up her voice, though, and turned to stare right at Joohyun. Her surprise wasn’t any different.

“J-Joohyun unnie!” she exclaimed. She jogged lightly to Joohyun. “Wow, you look very nice.”

Joohyun looked down at herself. She was just wearing an old black one-piece that was on sale a couple years ago. It matched her mood pretty well, though.

“O-Oh, this? It’s just some thing I threw on….” she said, her tone dropping a bit.

It was true, what she said, but if she were to say this any other day, people would beg to differ. But she didn’t want to focus on herself anymore and instead scanned Seulgi from head-to-toe. Seulgi, who did not fail to amaze every single time, was dressed as feminine as she could be compared to the casual clothes she would don for _Morning Glory_. At one glance, Joohyun wouldn’t have believed Seulgi to be a first year in college, someone who hadn’t completed a full year of education from high school just yet. Her long, straight hair draped over one shoulder, falling down onto the bodycon turtle neck dress she looked so magnificent in.

“Y-You look very n-nice yourself….” she finally managed to utter.

Joohyun couldn’t tell if Seulgi smiled at her, but Sooyoung interrupted her thoughts anyway, stepping forward with a hand jutted out to Seulgi.

Oh, right. Sooyoung was just by her side.

“Hi,” Sooyoung greeted. “I’m Sooyoung.”

Seulgi gently grasped onto Sooyoung’s hand. “Seulgi.”

“I didn’t expect to see you here, Seulgi….” Joohyun mumbled.

“Oh, yeah. I’m friends with the bride,” Seulgi said. And she continued on, “Seungwan.”

As if Joohyun didn’t know who in the world the bride-to-be was.

As if there wasn’t already a nail pricking her heart already.

“What about you?” Seulgi asked, eyes darting back and forth between Joohyun and Sooyoung. “Who are you here for?”

Joohyun grimaced. “I’m here for the bride as well….”

“I’m just the plus one,” Sooyoung said.

“Ah.” Seulgi looked innocently in awe. “I didn’t know that you also know Seungwan.”

Joohyun scanned her surroundings. More and more people were starting to fill up the cathedral, some even taking a seat on the benches already. The pastor was making his way up to the front to begin the ceremony shortly. Seungwan and Junmyeon were most likely preparing at their respective stations before the wedding.

“Yeah…” The corners of Joohyun’s mouth tugged up a little. “I went to high school with her.”

Sooyoung touched her arm. “So, Seulgi, what store do you work at for the mall?”

Joohyun was absolutely grateful that Sooyoung decided to come as her plus one. The latter seemed to notice her discomfort, which prompted her to stray Seulgi away from the conversation. Luckily they were able to engage in a very passionate topic about stuffed animals like Gudetama and Rilakkuma, which would have been entertaining for Joohyun to listen to if it were any other day.

“Hello, everyone.” Joohyun looked up to see the pastor speaking loudly with his strong voice. “Please, take your seats now.”

Seulgi turned around from the pastor and motioned for the three to sit together, which Sooyoung and Joohyun agreed to. They sat at an empty row in the middle of the left side of the cathedral.

Joohyun rubbed her hands up and down her thighs, breathing short and chest heavy.

“We will now begin the wedding ceremony for Son Seungwan and Kim Junmyeon.”

**

Joohyun managed to stay for the whole ceremony.

She followed everyone’s actions—she smiled, she laughed, she clapped, she cried.

She noticed Sooyoung stealing glances at her every now and then, but she knew it was to check up on her and see that she wasn’t suffering inside. Luckily for the both of them (Sooyoung didn’t have to deal with a sobbing mess that was Joohyun again), Joohyun blended in with everyone else, admiring the whole spiel that was the ceremony, watching the handsome Junmyeon standing at the altar with his hair swept back and his hands locked in front of him, and the beautiful Seungwan in her gorgeous wedding dress, walking down the aisle with her arm looped around her father’s.

Seungwan never once glanced at her direction during the whole ceremony, which was understandable, considering how she looked like one of those love-struck puppies staring into the eyes of their significant other. Junmyeon sported a foolish grin practically the whole time, struggling to keep a straight face to listen to the pastor well, but his expression wasn’t anything new. In fact, it was all too familiar to see how he was gazing at Seungwan. He was madly in love with her.

Joohyun smiled.

Seungwan and Junmyeon looked good together.

And Joohyun hoped that stayed true until death actually did them apart.

**

Joohyun lied.

When she thought that by staying throughout the whole ceremony made it okay for her to move on with her diminishing feelings for Seungwan, she thought wrong.

She just never had any face-to-face interaction with her first love during that whole time, which made it easy.

Until now.

“Hyu—Joohyun... it’s so good to see you again.” Seungwan had reached down to hold onto her hands, and Joohyun would have held onto her longer, if it were not for Junmyeon lingering next to her, arm around her waist. “Thank you so much for coming tonight.”

Joohyun shook her head and peeled her hands away. “No, thank you for inviting me. I… I’m glad I was able to witness such a beautiful marriage.”

“I’m going to be staying in Seoul now,” Seungwan said, her head tilting up to look at Junmyeon, who smiled at her. “So, I hope that we’ll be able to see each other more often.”

Joohyun nodded and laughed a little bit. “Yeah. Yeah. That, uh, sounds good.”

If only it actually did.

“Wannie! Congratulations!” Joohyun perked up at the sound of Seulgi’s voice, which was higher than usual. The girl had clomped Seungwan into a tight embrace before reaching over to Junmyeon to do the same. “I’m so happy for you two!”

The three engaged in small talk with short but genuine laughter here and there. Joohyun continued to linger around a few steps away from them, acting like she was being pushed out of the circle, or looking as if she was trying to merge her way in. After their small catch up and making of future plans, Seulgi was throwing glances at Joohyun every now and then. She excused herself from Seungwan and Junmyeon, saying that they should greet other people now. Joohyun didn’t catch her saying her name because she was now half-running half-jogging out of the cathedral.

“Joohyun?” Joohyun didn’t stop until she reached the courtyard, stepping up into a gazebo wrapped around with nature and sitting down onto the white bench. A glance at Seulgi was not spared until the latter called her name again. “Is everything okay?”

Joohyun nodded; she lied.

It wasn’t like she could spill her whole love story to this girl who wasn’t exactly in that stage of knowing yet. But Seulgi knew she was lying, creeping closer to her on the bench and carefully wrapping an arm around her, gently rubbing her bare arm. Joohyun leaned into the gentle touch. She hadn’t realized how sensitive and devoid of emotional support she was until now, feeling her heart swelling up and the waterworks starting again.

But she kept strong.

At least she knew now—how much Seungwan and Junmyeon really loved each other.

How Seungwan didn’t seem to have longing glances anymore.

It was closure in some way.

Joohyun rested her head against Seulgi’s shoulder and closed her eyes.

At least she didn’t have to think about the what could have been’s anymore.

**

Seulgi wanted to hang out with her about a week after that. It wasn’t like they magically got so much closer because Seulgi happened to be there at the time where Joohyun’s feelings started to become uncontrollable, but Seulgi thought it was somehow a start to get closer. Even if this wasn’t the most ideal beginning anyone had in mind.

Joohyun agreed anyway. She didn’t think there was any harm to hanging out with Seulgi; besides, the girl was nice and sweet and tugged some heartstrings here and there, but that feeling was ignored most of the time.

When Joohyun walked by the south wing during closing time (because traffic forced her to park there again), Seulgi was talking about a really good movie that was coming out in theaters really soon.

Which was why Seulgi turned around from the vendor, pacing to Joohyun with glee and with two tickets in her hands just a few days later from that conversation. As Joohyun was scanning the big picture frames of the top-selling movies that were showing nowadays, she realized a lot of them had to deal with thriller or horror. There was only one romantic comedy on display.

“What movie are we watching again?” she had to ask because she wasn’t sure if the title that Seulgi said was the romantic comedy one or not.

“ _Annabelle_!”

Joohyun’s eyes popped out as she was staring exactly at the mentioned title, feeling creeped out by the scary looking girl on the movie poster.

She failed to mention that she was scared out of her wits when watching horror movies. Heck, she was scared at anything that abruptly moved.

She uneasily smiled at Seulgi, who was sporting the same big grin on her ridiculously attractive face.

“Do you not want to watch it anymore?” Seulgi asked.

_Anymore? When did I agree in the first place!?_ Joohyun thought, and then her mind warped back to the time where Seulgi casually mentioned a movie she has been wanting to watch but had no one to go with. And foolish Joohyun, who did not completely listen, offered to go. _Oh. That’s right_.

She contemplated on rejecting Seulgi. Not a chance did she want to have to deal with paranoia and nightmares again. The last time she _accidentally_ watched a horror movie was back in first year of high school, and she had to sleep in the same bed as her younger sister for a good month. With the lights on. It was a nuisance for her younger sister and she eventually kicked the elder out when she couldn’t sleep properly anymore.

But then Joohyun looked down at the tickets in Seulgi’s hands. She would feel bad since the younger girl already paid for the tickets and the showing time was in ten minutes.

“N-No, I’ll… I’ll watch it with you,” she stammered. “Sorry, I forgot to mention… I don’t really do well with horror movies….”

“Oh…” Seulgi started, her hands slightly crumpling the tickets. She was still holding it in front of her chest, like it was some precious toy she couldn’t bear to drop. If her vision served her right, Joohyun thought she saw a frown marring Seulgi’s beautiful face for the first time. And then a smile magically appeared again—a small one, though. “Well, we don’t have to watch it! I don’t want to force you to watch something that you don’t like.”

Joohyun’s heart sunk. Here she went, making a girl a few years younger than her feel guilty of her choices. She reached out for Seulgi’s hands and shook her head, starting to drag her through the doors of the theater.

“No, it’s okay. We’re going!” she said. “I did say I was going to watch it with you. I’d be a bad unnie if I went back on my words.”

“Are you sure?”

They reached the line between two different parts of the world—reality and two hours of fiction (or those creepy based-on-a-true-story type of thing). An employee was waiting for them to make their decision so he could do his job of ripping tickets and monotonously telling them which theater house they were going to be in.

“Yes,” Joohyun said confidently. She grabbed the tickets from Seulgi’s hands and gave them to the employee. “I am sure.”

She wasn’t.

Joohyun had her feet up on the seat, her face burrowed by her knees and her jacket (no longer on her back) now looped through the front. She used the hood to cover her eyes every now and then to avoid seeing something gruesome or scary occurring in the movie. The house was almost full, but they still managed to get good seats somehow. And that meant sitting smack dab in the middle where Seulgi and Joohyun could get a great view of all the action.

If she were to watch this alone (not that she would in the first place; she’d turn off the screen before it even began), then she would have been screaming her head off. But she was with Seulgi and a bunch of other strangers who would probably sock her in her pretty face for being such a nuisance. So, she opted to whimpering every now and then, just as long as she didn’t open her mouth and accidentally let out a loud scream.

Seulgi looked at her and her makeshift defense. “Are you scared, unnie?”

Joohyun was practically shaking. “Is the movie almost done?” she asked meekly.

Seulgi nodded. “I think so.” Joohyun saw her staring out of sympathy. “Sorry, unnie.”

Joohyun shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I did this to myself. I said I was going to watch it with you so don’t— _AH!”_

She involuntarily let out a loud scream at a sudden noise from the movie, and what was embarrassing was that it wasn’t even at a scary or suspenseful part either. Seulgi averted her gaze from the screen back to Joohyun, and she giggled a little bit at how easily freaked out she was in this setting.

There should be about ten more minutes left until the movie was over, Joohyun thought, so she should be able to be in this fetal position for ten more minutes and bear with only the sounds. None of that viewing bullshit—she couldn’t do it anymore. She already knew that she was going to have nightmares tonight and she probably would have to sleep next to Sooyoung.

But she freaked out a little bit when the armrest in between her and Seulgi started to move backwards. Thank God she didn’t let out a scream at the time, especially during a part in the movie where it didn’t ask for screaming.

“Come here.”

Joohyun carefully peered up from her hood. Seulgi was opening her arms and asking her to come into the side of her body. She didn’t have to ask twice for Joohyun to snuggle up against her, face buried in the crook of Seulgi’s neck and arm tightly clenching onto the other side of Seulgi’s body. Being around anyone but herself was comforting even in the scariest of times, but she managed to feel very safe with Seulgi, especially with her arms wrapped around her and all. And she was very warm as well.

A few more minutes passed with Seulgi intently watching the movie and Joohyun practically buried into her. Though, the movie finally came to an end and the credits rolled, lights following right after. Patrons started to gradually stand up and leave the house, but Joohyun remained in Seulgi’s arms until they were one of the last people left.

Seulgi’s arms tightened around Joohyun. “I’m sorry again, unnie,” she apologized, but in a playful, whining tone. A part of her must have enjoyed seeing this side of the elder.

“N-No… it’s okay,” she said for the nth time, but breathless this time around. She finally opened her eyes to find a lit up theater house. Lifting her head slowly, her face were just mere centimeters away from Seulgi’s, hazy eyes scanning over the latter’s features up close. She knew she was attractive from the start, but to receive the opportunity to actually count every single lashes there were and how clear her skin was made Joohyun’s heart skip a beat.

Just _one_ beat.

And Joohyun didn’t even realize it.

“Um…” Seulgi made a motion to get out of her seat; however, she barely moved an inch, stuck in the same trance as Joohyun.

Joohyun’s eyes naturally fell down onto Seulgi’s lips when the other girl made the soft noise, eyes yet again doing the wandering as it traced the shape of her mouth, noticing the tip of her tongue peeking out just slightly to wet the bottom lip. Thoughts of all kinds were running about in her mind at the moment, wondering just what would happen if a small force were to push Joohyun _just slightly_ , what would happen if Seulgi decided to remain still, what would happen if Joohyun just closed her eyes for that second and wait for Seulgi to take the next step, what would happen if—

Joohyun yelped and jumped in her seat at the sound of the loud clanking of plastic hitting the floor. Her widened eyes immediately zipped toward one of the entrances of the theater only to find an employee doing his rounds of cleaning up spilled popcorn and throwing away half-filled sodas.

“W-We should get going so h-he can clean up….” Seulgi quietly proposed, and Joohyun didn’t have to wait a second longer to follow suit.

The employee, unbeknown to what just occurred, bid them good night, and Seulgi and Joohyun were back in reality again.

“Thank you for coming out with me tonight,” Seulgi said once they stepped outside.

Joohyun peered up at Seulgi and saw her glancing down, hands locked behind her back, pace coming down to that of a snail. She didn’t think she would get enough of staring at how Seulgi’s mouth curled up into a smile.

“It was my pleasure.”

When they reached the parking structure in conjunction to the movie theaters, Seulgi walked Joohyun to her car in comfortable silence.

Joohyun turned around, fingers lightly touching the door handle on the driver’s side. Seulgi had one hand on her nape and the other touching her forearm, apparently looking vulnerable with the way her arms are positioned to guard her body. Her head was lowered, eyes fixated on the floor, body slightly swaying from side-to-side. She looked as though she was about to say something, though, not really knowing how to say it in the first place.

Before Joohyun could even say something, Seulgi made up her mind and took a step forward. The toned arms that she now correlate with warmth and affection were wrapped around her frail body once again.

“Good night, unnie,” Seulgi whispered into her ear.

She quickly took a step back, her nervous laughter echoing in the parking structure. With a small wave of her hand, she retreated back to her car which was _way_ on the other side of where Joohyun parked.

Joohyun hastily climbed into her car after standing there looking like a fool. Her hand shook while trying to place the keys into her ignition, but after numerous failed attempts, she ended up dropping her keys onto the center console.

Her car was eerily silent—

except for her rushed breathing,

and heart beating.

When Joohyun returned home that night, she ended up sleeping next to Sooyoung like she thought she would. _Annabelle_ scared the crap out of her and she wasn’t going to be thinking about a creepy little girl popping up in her room. But as she laid still next to a sleeping Sooyoung, blankets up to her chin, fingers clenching over the hem, all she could think about was Seulgi.

She smiled.

_Kang Seulgi._


	4. final

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the third love, Kang Seulgi, proves to be Joohyun's final lover.

Sooyoung was right when she mentioned that attending Seungwan’s wedding would give Joohyun the closure of feelings she was most likely looking for.

Just knowing and seeing someone else loving another was enough. It was _more_ than enough witnessing it in-person. The thing that she was most appreciative about, however, was not dwelling over it anymore. She was finally able to convince her mind that Seungwan was her first love and would _remain_ that first love.

Joohyun began to feel much better about herself ever since the movie outing with Seulgi. Co-workers thought she found a man to love because they commented about a healthy and lovingly glow that was apparent on her face every time she stepped into _Hermes_. Even when she was struggling with the most difficult customers was the glow still slightly there. She didn’t think too much about it, diminishing the glow to a thought of her finally getting over Seungwan and Minho all together.

“So, who’s the guuuyyyy?” Jongdae asked in a sing-song tone.

They were currently on their lunch break in the small break room behind _Hermes_. Jongdae was standing around, stuffing forks of drenched salad into his mouth. Joohyun was anxious seeing the dripping ranch dressing sauce sliding down his fork, threatening to splash down onto anywhere and create an impact that might stain Jongdae’s sleek, black suit.

And here she was, stabbing her own fork into a neat, dressing-free bento box she bought on the way to work.

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

_Why do they keep thinking that I’m dating someone?_

Jongdae rolled his eyes. “Hello? It’s so obvious you’re seeing someone, Joohyun. Even ditzy Park Sunyoung has her own suspicions.” He munched onto the second to last bite of his lunch. “So? Who is it?”

Joohyun laughed. “There’s no one. I don’t know why you all think that I’m dating someone right now. I was a wreck about a week ago, how can I find someone that fast?”

“Who knows, maybe you found someone who loves you as a wreck and loves you as whatever façade you’ve been putting up.”

Joohyun reached over to smack Jongdae for implying her fake personality, to which the latter laughed loudly about and scooted away from her hand.

“Seriously, I don’t have anyone,” confirmed Joohyun. “I don’t even think I’d want to date anyone right now.”

Jongdae finished up his lunch and rinsed off his Tupperware in the sink. He wiped his mouth and hands clean and turned around, leaning back onto his hands curling over the edge of the counter. Joohyun barely made a dent into her lunch at this point. There was about fifteen minutes left anyway.

“That’s unfortunate,” said Jongdae, and he shrugged his shoulders. “I know plenty of people who would want to date you in a heartbeat.”

Joohyun breathed out of her nose as some sort of almost laughter. Her fork was tossing and turning a piece of baked salmon on top of a bed of rice.

“Do me a favor and tell them I’m off the market, please.”

Jongdae didn’t pressure any longer with teasing remarks about Joohyun finding a man to see on her free time, although the latter knew he still believed it somehow. He left so that Joohyun could finish her lunch in peace, and because he was needed back onto the floor again. Jung Sooyeon mentioned something about a persistent customer who she, for once, wasn’t able to charm with her words. But Jongdae was a close second in the charming department, and maybe he knew a few tricks up his sleeves that Sooyeon didn’t know about.

Joohyun turned back to her lunch after that whole spiel, the whirring noise of the refrigerator sounding blaringly loud in her ears after she was left alone to wonder if she truly did look like someone who was in the first stages of seeing someone she truly liked.

That may be true, but honestly, Joohyun thought she was just able to be fully happy once again.

With or without a relationship.

**

Joohyun was on one of her rare free days from work. She needed time to practice self-care after Sooyoung dumped a bunch of articles telling her to do this and do that to her face or to her body. She tried doing yoga once, and as much as her flexible body loved distorting in all sorts of positions, time didn’t. So, she opted to spending a good fifteen minutes before sleeping to lay in her bed with a face mask.

“Shopping therapy” was one of the things on Sooyoung’s list. Joohyun wasn’t one to go around and shop for things that she _wanted_. She was more of a practical person, shopping only for things that she needed. For someone who worked in the fashion industry for handbags, she never really kept up with the latest trends. She didn’t even have the top line of the bag from _Hermes_ either! But Sooyoung concluded that shopping for her didn’t have to deal with retail. She could be relieving the stress by scents of detergents, for all that Sooyoung cared.

Which was why Joohyun was strolling about in the mall, checking out the shops that opened up recently on the north or east wing or anywhere she never gotten the chance to walk through because she usually ended up in the parking lot fifteen minutes before her shift. She was pushing through rich patrons and big bags in the south wing, her feet automatically directing her to the most aesthetically pleasing shops. The mall’s carousel was right around the corner, if memory served her right, so that meant _Morning Glory_ should be somewhere around...

“Unnie!”

…here.

Said girl jolted up at the voice, her eyes zipping to the direction. Seulgi was poking her head out from the entrance of _Morning Glory_ , a smile apparent on her beautiful face. Almost immediately did Joohyun rush over to the shop, causing Seulgi to tread all the way back inside and lead the former to what she was doing earlier, which was restocking a shelf filled with Ryan dolls.

“Did you get off of work already?” Seulgi asked, reaching high to place the biggest Ryan doll they owned.

Joohyun observed as the slightly taller girl stood on her tippy toes, her sweater riding up against her body and showing a glimpse of fair and smooth skin. Seulgi patted and adjusted the doll a few times before glancing back down at Joohyun, waiting for a response.

“O-Oh, uh, no. I didn’t work today,” Joohyun finally responded. Her gaze was elsewhere now, finally scanning the surroundings of _Morning Glory_. “This place is cute.”

“Thanks! I suggested some of the interior décor to my parents,” said Seulgi.

Joohyun nodded and mumbled, “Ah, that explains it.”

But Seulgi was rummaging through the plastics. “Sorry, what did you say?”

Joohyun nervously laughed and shook her head. “Oh, uh, nothing.”

She continued to look around the shop and spotted who she thought was Seulgi’s mother sitting behind the counter, a pair of reading glasses resting on her nose bridge and a newspaper in her hand. Business here seemed to be pretty moderate. Probably just like any other gift shop, the traffic into _Morning Glory_ was just a stop-and-go kind of traffic. Patrons would admire whatever they had to offer before checking out the prices and scooting back out to the mall. The stuffed animals here were definitely adorable in their own right, but Joohyun didn’t think she’d go out of her way to buy one.

It’d probably just sit down somewhere in her apartment for Joohyun and Sooyoung to look at every now and then.

“So, what are you doing here, unnie? Are you buying something?” asked Seulgi.

“I haven’t really figured out what I wanted to buy before coming to the mall,” confessed Joohyun. “I’m just strolling around, basically.”

“Ah. Anything else planned for the rest of the day?”

Joohyun pouted and shook her head. “No. Not really, actually.”

Suddenly a smile graces Seulgi’s face. “I get off in ten minutes. Do you want to do something together?” She must have seen the shock that spread across Joohyun’s face for a split second, for she lightly giggled behind her hand. “And it won’t be a scary movie this time.”

“How are you so sure that I’d trust you this time around?” Joohyun playfully narrowed her eyes at Seulgi, lips still pouting. “You might tell me that we’re going to the beach, but take me bungee jumping instead.”

Seulgi’s face lit up. “You know what, bungee jumping does sound fun right now!”

“Yah, Seulgi!” Joohyun lightly slapped Seulgi on her arm and watched as she laughed away while placing the last of the Ryan doll onto the shelf. “Have fun going by yourself, then.”

“I was just kidding, unnie,” Seulgi said. “I was thinking that we could go ice skating. There’s a pretty good deal going on.”

Joohyun silently followed her around the shop, watching as Seulgi tidied up the dolls here and there and making note of which shelves needed to be restocked soon. The last time she remembered going ice skating was when her parents decided to do a family outing one weekend in December. It was just her, her little sister, and her parents being carefree like how any other ideal family would be.

Long story short, she never learned how to ice skate.

Her family was already on the rink when she was idly standing by the entrance in her skate shoes, dad showing off his skating skills, mom laughing, and little sister wobbling every now and then. She was hanging onto the rail for dear life the whole duration of their stay, and eventually her dad came to the rescue, pulling onto her hands and guiding the way around.

Joohyun didn’t go back since then and she never really learned how to skate, much to her dismay. Dad would say, “We’ll teach you properly next time!” Next time never came around when he got too busy with work on the other side of the country and mom couldn’t just take her out on her own. Time passed by and she became too engrossed in her studies to even think about maintaining a social life—that was aside from the friendships and the relationships that didn’t end up staying with her. Joohyun didn’t think too much about it then, but when she thought about it now, it was a shame how she didn’t try to push for more family time. Now she was working her ass off while living in an apartment with someone who was still going to college, her sister was pushing through her last year of high school, and her parents were getting old with their hairs graying out.

“I don’t know how to skate,” she muttered.

Seulgi turned around with a raised eyebrow, and another one of her smiles warmed Joohyun’s chest once again.

“I can teach you,” she said. “It’s really not that hard.”

“Last time my dad told me that I ended up holding the rails until we left.”

“Well,” Seulgi started. She grabbed one of the pillow bunnies next to her. It was the very same pillow bunny that Joohyun saw the first time the shop opened up. “I can _really_ teach you.”

Joohyun sighed, but ended up smiling. “Okay. I guess if you _really_ insist.”

**

The ice rink was no horror movie, but why was it that whenever Seulgi wanted to take her out on a friendly outing, Joohyun ended up being scared out of her wits?

“Unnie, it’s okay. Just let go of the rail.”

“No!”

“U-Unnie… I promise I’ll be by you so that you won’t fall.”

“H-How can I trust you? I walked into this rink just like how I walked into the movie theaters the other time!”

“To be fair, unnie, I didn’t force you into the rink….”

Right.

Joohyun paid for her ticket and the skates and entered this rink all on her _own_ accord. But she was _beyond_ scared of what would happen if she released her hands from the rail. Because of the buy one get one 50% off deal the ice skating rink was having today, it was populated with children and lovey dovey couples who were experienced in skating. Well, there was a couple where the girl didn’t know how to skate, but at least she wasn’t a scaredy cat and kept holding onto the rail.

Seulgi was standing in front of her, trying to coax the older girl into trusting her.

“I-I swear to God, if I fall….” Joohyun muttered under her breath to herself more than anyone.

She gradually let go of the rail, but because her mind was practically screaming and warning her that she was going to fall, she trusted her instincts and let out a squeal, arms flailing about before a pair of hands caught her by her wrists.

“O-Oh, my God!!”

The racing against her chest never calmed down because she expected to land flat on her ass. But Seulgi was still in front of her with hands firmly holding her wrists.

“Okay, just… breathe… and don’t let go of me, okay?” Seulgi calmly said.

“Yeah, I don’t plan to let go, Seulgi!” Joohyun squeaked out. She whimpered when Seulgi steadily started skating backwards, and automatically tightened the grip around her hands.

Seulgi laughed a bit. “See? Not that much scarier now, right?”

They circled around the rink a few times just like that, Seulgi skating backwards and Joohyun holding on by her hands. By the fifth time they went around the rink, Joohyun was composed again. Her gaze was fixed onto their conjoined hands and she hadn’t realized how warm they were in Seulgi’s.

“I’m going to let go of one hand now, okay?”

“W-Wait…”

Joohyun slightly panicked again, not ready to gradually lose support. Better yet, she didn’t really want to lose the warmth in one of her hands right now. This skating position was all too comfortable. If she could continue on with the rest of their day like this with Seulgi holding onto her hands and them facing each other, then you bet that she would. However, Seulgi made it her mission today to teach her unnie how to skate once and for all.

“I’ll still be holding onto you, unnie,” reassured Seulgi. “Just going to let go of my left hand.”

Joohyun heaved a heavy sigh and solemnly nodded, granting Seulgi the permission to gradually let her hand fall back down to her side. She wavered a little bit when that happened, but still managed to hold onto Seulgi, even if it meant tightening her grip just a tiny bit more with her left hand.

“Cute.”

Joohyun hastily glanced up, cheeks flushed, and gasped when she saw Seulgi holding her phone in front of her.

“Y-Yah, are you recording me!?”

Her hand quickly flew up to hide her face. This was _way_ too embarrassing. She was in her early twenties and she didn’t even know how to ice skate. She swore that if Seulgi posted this up somewhere and someone she knew were to see it she’d punch Seulgi in her amazing, toned stomach.

“C’mon, unnie! Just say hi to the camera~” Seulgi cooed. In the shot right now was Joohyun covering her eyes with her free hand and their conjoined hands barely showing at the bottom. But anyone would have guessed what Joohyun’s outstretched arm was holding onto. “Joohyun unnie is shy.”

“Seulgi, stop recording me,” Joohyun whined.

“Ah, fine.”

“What were you even recording me on?”

Seulgi grinned. “Just for my own personal keepsake.”

Joohyun could feel herself heat up from the chest. Seulgi seemed so harmless and innocent that she didn’t realize how many times Joohyun’s face turned near crimson red today.

“Are you ready to let go now?”

“No,” Joohyun immediately responded.

Seulgi laughed. “You’re going to have to let go of me eventually.”

“I-I don’t really want to… not right now.”

“Okay, fine. Just a few more rounds and then I’m going to let go.”

Joohyun pouted and held onto Seulgi tighter. “Can you just not let go at all? I’m completely fine with not knowing how to ice skate. I don’t even go ice skating that much anyway!”

“But you’re almost there, unnie! You went from skating with two hands and now you’re at one hand. Who knows, maybe you’ll become an expert at ice skating.”

“Yeah, like I would pursue a career in ice skating…”

“As _cool_ as that sounds, I’m really going to let go when we circle this one more time.”

Joohyun became flustered yet again and didn’t even realize Seulgi made a lame pun. “One!? You said a few!”

“The more you try to avoid it, the more I’m going to let go.” Joohyun was mum, and they reached full circle. “Ready?”

Joohyun hesitated and felt as reluctant as ever to let go of her only safety net. Her whole body was slightly shaking, and it wasn’t from how cold the ice rink was.

“I’m not going to let you fall.”

Joohyun looked up at Seulgi’s face and saw how determined the younger girl was. The corners of Seulgi’s mouth tugged up a little bit, a small smile to not only reassure her but to also give her that very moment where all she saw and felt was her.

“I’m always going to be right here right by your side.”

And Joohyun let go.

Much to her surprise, Joohyun was getting the hang of it. She was balancing well and she was skating steadily, but her arms were still stretched out for Seulgi to grasp onto her just in case.

“H-Hey… I’m actually doing it!” she exclaimed, and she laughed out of disbelief.

This wasn’t as bad as she thought. All this time her mind was playing tricks on her, making her fear the idea of losing balance and falling. She was calm, cool, and collected at this point, and Seulgi was right in front of her, all smiles and laughter.

“See, unnie! You’re doing so well!”

But no one told her that the easiest part of skating was obviously going straight. She was nearing the curve of the rink and she was eventually going to have to turn her skates, but she panicked once again and suddenly lost all thought on how to properly turn.

“Okay, slowly turn this way now, unnie.”

_Easier said than done, Seulgi!_

“W-wait, wait, wait—“

The feeling was like her trying to swim all over again. This was like her having the pool float ripped right out of her grip and trying to stay afloat on the water and fearing for her life of sinking into the pool deeper than she could imagine. She wasn’t even in the deep end, first of all.

_Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, I’m going to fall! I’m going to fall, I’m going to fall, I’m going to fall! Curse you, Seulgi! How dare you make me let go of my hands, I knew I was going to fall, oh, my God, the curve is so sharp right now, I’m going to hit the wall!_

Joohyun squealed immediately upon the impact, but it wasn’t from her hitting the wall—it was way too soft to be. Her panicked state caused her mind to go haywire and slightly lose her sense of surroundings, until her tracks were stopped and she was steady and she looked up and oh, my God, was Seulgi holding her?

All Joohyun heard was her own rushed breathing, but all she felt was Seulgi close against her.

“S-Sorry, you were panicking a lot and you weren’t turning, so I thought I would…” Seulgi stammered, but she still held on. “…you know….”

Joohyun’s breathing was still hitched, her hands gripping tightly onto the back of Seulgi’s shirt and her head resting against the crook of Seulgi’s neck.

“Are you okay?” Seulgi caressed Joohyun’s hair. “Was that too much?”

Joohyun closed her eyes and shook her head. This felt nice, even if all the events leading up to it weren’t as nice for Joohyun’s rapidly beating heart. She was at ease with Seulgi stroking her head down to her shoulder, and a strong arm tightly wrapped around her waist.

“I’m okay now…” she breathed out. “T-Thank you….”

They remained in that position for a few moments longer until Joohyun decided she was stable enough to stand on her own—well, while holding onto Seulgi’s hand, of course.

“You should’ve seen the look on your face when you thought you were going to hit the wall,” Seulgi blurted out, and she started laughing when Joohyun became ashamed and smack her on the arm.

“You’re the worst!”

**

The sun was setting by the time Joohyun drove back to the mall to drop Seulgi off at her car. Joohyun would have stayed out longer with Seulgi if she had the choice to, but the latter had errands to do before night finally hung over them. It wasn’t like they went on a date anyway; at least that was what Joohyun thought. Seulgi just asked to hang out after getting off of work, just like any other normal friends would do for each other.

But her mind started flipping and playing tricks with her once again when Seulgi reached behind to the back seat of Joohyun’s car, grappling onto the pillow bunny that she brought with her when her shift ended. Joohyun didn’t really question why Seulgi brought it with her in the first place. She thought it might have been a problem with the manufacturing company or it was a gift for someone, which was why Seulgi brought it with her and left it in Joohyun’s car since she didn’t stop by hers first.

“Look,” Seulgi merely said. She was shaking the pillow bunny a little bit. Judging by its material and how deep Seulgi’s hands went in, it might have been really soft and fluffy. “This bunny reminds me of you.”

Joohyun looked alarmed. They were in the parking garage with her hazards on, idly sitting in front of Seulgi’s car. She half expected Seulgi to get out right away with an embrace and a “see you later, unnie!” and half expected Seulgi to act out of the ordinary and give her palpitations once again.

It was nearing towards the second half of expectancy at this point.

“H-How so?” Joohyun asked.

Seulgi giggled and held the stuffed white bunny out to her. “I don’t know, I kind of think you look like one. It’s really cute.”

Joohyun gulped and looked at Seulgi. How could she say that with such effortlessness?

“Here,” Seulgi gently handed the bunny for Joohyun to grab, “for you.”

“Wait, you’re giving this to me?” Joohyun hesitantly reached out to hold onto the bunny, and indeed, it was as soft as she imagined. If she knew what clouds felt like, then this might be close to it. “Didn’t you just take it from the shop? Wouldn’t your parents freak?”

Seulgi shrugged. “They don’t mind. If anything, I’ll just tell them to take it out of my pay.” She reached out and played around with the bunny’s big ears. “This is a set with another bunny, which is pink. This one’s named Yuki.”

“What’s the pink bunny’s name?”

“Toki.” Seulgi settled back down onto her seat. “It’s a nice cuddle buddy if you ever need one.”

Joohyun almost wanted to say that she didn’t really cuddle with stuffed animals anymore, considering how she grew out of them. Most of them stayed back at home and the newer ones just sat in the corner of her room. But she decided against it and pressed Yuki against her chest with a smile.

“I’ll take good care of it.”

“I’d hope so.” Seulgi brightly grinned. “Anyway, thanks for driving, unnie! Today was fun, even if you were screaming a good half for it.”

Joohyun narrowed her eyes at her, fingers digging deep into the white bunny. “Hey, maybe don’t choose an activity where I’d scream next time.”

Seulgi unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned in closer to Joohyun. “So, we’ve decided that there’s a next time?”

Joohyun’s breathing hitched at how close Seulgi moved against her, instinctively inching away. “I-I mean…”

“Just teasing, unnie.” Seulgi laughed that adorable laugh of hers once again. Joohyun figured the reason why she leaned in closer in the first place was to give her a hug, which explained why she was currently melting in Seulgi’s arms. “I’d love to have plenty of more _next time_ s with you.”

Seulgi backed away before finally climbing out of the car. After shutting the door close, she leaned down and waved at Joohyun with those adorable eyes forming crescent shapes and a set of nice, white teeth accompanying it. Joohyun felt tingles lingering on her fingertips when she finally shifted her car into drive as soon as Seulgi slipped into her own, the former slowly driving away and turning into the wide streets.

It wasn’t until Joohyun settled into her parking spot at the apartment complex did she finally feel at ease. So many thoughts ran by her head today, most of them were solely about Kang Seulgi’s ridiculously gorgeous self. Tingles remained on her fingertips almost as if she would be forever reminded of Seulgi’s touch and how she gently held her at the rink. She didn’t want to believe it, but this girl, who was at least three years younger than her, who she happened to come across during holiday season, was making her feel random bursts of emotions at times where she least expected it.

Yuki was sitting on her passenger seat when she gently held him to her chest before leaving to hike up the stairs to her apartment. Sooyoung was on the couch again, watching an episode of a TV drama with a bowl of popcorn in her lap, which she claimed was the last bag of buttered popcorn— _finally_. She was amused at the sight of a white bunny practically covering Joohyun’s entire torso, but shrugged.

“If that’s your way of therapeutic shopping, then so be it.”

Joohyun only smiled at her when she walked past to get to her bedroom. “Glad that you’re on the last bag of popcorn.”

Sooyoung half-heartedly said something about wanting to share it, but Joohyun was already in her room with the door shut. She flicked on the lights and looked straight at one of the corners of her room where a pile of stuffed animals sat on a leather one-seat. All of these plushies popped up one by one—or a few at a time—during her college life. Some of them came from Minho when they went to carnivals, some of them she got on her own with Sooyoung at a local Japanese arcade, and some of them were pleasing and comforting to look at. None of them sat on her bed with her, however, now that she realized it. Her bed was plain, just good ole lavender sheets and covers.

But as much as she convinced herself that she was too grown up for toys, Yuki ended up in her arms as she slept.

She remembered falling asleep while thinking of the one who gave it to her.

**

Hanging out with Seulgi wasn’t a once every few weeks type of thing anymore. It became more frequent, increasing to meeting once every week, or if a situation calls for it, even two to three times a week. Most of the time it was difficult meeting up with Seulgi since their schedules often clashed with one another, but when they figured out a loophole, which was basically late night outings, they decided to bear with the fact that they were going to head to work or school a bit groggier now.

It was hard. Joohyun loved her sleep and always cherished any time given that she would be able to lie in bed with her eyes closed. But for some reason, even when her body called for it, sleep didn’t come right away. Her fingers flew over her phone instead with the screen brightly flashing against her face, lights an orange dim in her room. Sometimes she would stay up until two in the morning texting Seulgi, sharing cute GIFs of adorable animals or funny situations, playing games of billiards or cup pong, or revealing snippets of their past.

Jongdae, who still believed that she was secretly seeing a man, thought that she gotten into “fights” with this mysterious “man” of hers. Dark circles were under her eyes and her makeup was a little bit more obvious to others. Though, a smile, a genuine one, was still on her face. And there was no use to getting into Jongdae’s head and removing the implanted idea that she was seeing someone. He was one for learning about others and delving into people’s relationships, so Joohyun was no exception to that.

Seulgi didn’t look that much different whenever they went out together after closing time. They looked much healthier back then without the clear cut visuals that screamed, _“I’m losing so much sleep, but I’m still here, barely breathing!”_ But even when Joohyun claimed that they should sleep earlier instead of goofing around until the wee hours of the morning, Seulgi had to remind her that it was midterm season and she needed to stay up anyway to study. It made sense for Seulgi to continue staying up, but Joohyun decided to as well, masking behind the reason, which was keeping her company.

Texting gradually became ten second voice messages with visual manipulations, and voice messages became phone calls. On the last day of studying for a midterm, Seulgi decided to call Joohyun because she didn’t want to have to deal with constantly picking up her phone every now and then when she was busy shuffling papers and books around on her desk. Joohyun didn’t mind, it saved her not-so-fast thumbs from tapping on the screen. She became much more engrossed into the conversation when she could hear Seulgi’s voice. There were comfortable silences here and there when Seulgi was trying to read some passage off of her textbook to understand more of the topic she was having the exam on the next day. Ever since then, phone calls every night became the norm, and it was especially longer if they didn’t see each other for that particular day. There were times where Seulgi would accidentally fall asleep on her, her cute little snores sounding through the phone every now and then, but Joohyun would smile it off and end the call, texting her good night before falling into a slumber as well.

 _Sorry for falling asleep on you unnie :’(_ Seulgi would text the next day, and they would briefly continue last night’s conversation from there on.

Constantly messaging and calling Seulgi wasn’t exactly the issue here— _well, maybe for losing sleep_ —but when it became something _dire_ and almost to the point where Joohyun couldn’t exactly sleep well without hearing Seulgi’s voice before she dreamt, it was problematic. Joohyun allowed herself to figuratively fall to the point where she needed to know what Seulgi was up to every night before she was able to comfortably sleep, even if they had hung out for a brief hour or two that very same day.

Sooyoung noticed her weary state when it first started and made no comment about it, but when Joohyun progressively looked worse than she did before, Sooyoung had to wonder if she was thinking about her previous relationships again.

“I’m fine,” Joohyun would say whenever Sooyoung asked about her well-being. “I’m just a little tired.”

“You’ve been ‘ _a little tired’_ for about a week now, unnie. Are you sure you’re okay?” asked Sooyoung. It was nighttime and Joohyun had just gotten off of work. She wanted to pass through the living room to her bedroom so that she could call Seulgi with Yuki close to her chest, but Sooyoung managed to catch her before she did her routine. “You’re not thinking about them… are you?”

Joohyun was alarmed. Seungwan and Minho have not once crossed her mind during this whole ordeal with Seulgi. When they did, though, they didn’t manifest negative emotions like they used to. But it was hard to imagine, at least for her, that Sooyoung thought she would easily fall back into that pit of depression and heartache when it had been a good few months already.

“No, of course not.”

“Then, why do you look like you’ve been losing sleep?” Sooyoung asked. “What have you been doing?”

Joohyun sighed. She didn’t think about telling Sooyoung anything because she didn’t think there was anything to tell in the first place. But she decided to trudge on over to where Sooyoung was posted at in the kitchen to ease her worries. The other girl was such a worrywart it was troublesome sometimes, but at the same time she did help Joohyun out a lot with her inner turmoil.

Joohyun sat down onto the stool behind the kitchen island. Sooyoung was on the other side preparing her lunch for tomorrow. A ham and tuna sandwich with kiwi and salad on the side, it seemed.

“Do you remember Seulgi? The girl we sat with at Seungwan’s wedding?”

Sooyoung nodded as she spread the mayonnaise tuna onto one slice of a white bread. “Yeah, I remember her. She’s very cute.”

Joohyun subconsciously smiled. “Ever since then, we started to hang more. She’s been asking me to watch movies with her or do some things that don’t usually come as the first thing in my mind, like ice skating or going to the zoo.” She cupped her cheeks. “Long story short, I’ve been talking to her every night for the past three weeks now.”

Sooyoung’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets. “You’ve been talking to her _every_ night? Like texting or calling?”

“Both… More so calling now.”

Sooyoung dropped everything that she was doing, her lunch way in the back of her mind now. “Oh, my gosh, unnie.”

Joohyun raised an eyebrow. “What? I’ve just been talking to her.”

“And… how long is each of your phone calls?”

Joohyun tapped a finger against her cheek. “Hm, it depends. The shortest it ever was was an hour, and the longest was probably… three hours?”

“U-Unnie…” Sooyoung leaned her weight onto one side of her body, her hands palming the edge of the kitchen counter. “How do you feel when you talk to her?”

Joohyun chuckled. “Why are you asking me that?”

“Because I think you’re in love with her,” Sooyoung blurted out.

No warning whatsoever.

“W-What!?”

Now Joohyun looked like the one with her eyes threatening to pop out of its sockets.

“Have you been listening to yourself? You’ve been like this for three weeks, texting and calling a girl you met a few months ago and only started to get to know better because of your ex’s wedding. You said it happened every night and the _shortest_ was an _hour_. You don’t talk to her for like, thirty seconds or like, five minutes. You talk to her for _hours_ , unnie.” Sooyoung paused momentarily to observe as Joohyun dropped her hands onto the counter, seemingly looking like she had a revelation. “You’ve been losing sleep because of her, and it doesn’t seem like you’ve been doing anything about it.”

“A-Are you saying… that I should do something about it…?”

“No!” Sooyoung exasperatingly dropped her hands from the counter. “Well, yeah, but no! I’m saying that you have feelings for Seulgi and you don’t even know it. And if you want to do something about it, especially because you’ve been going to work and coming back home looking like a zombie, then be my guest.”

She didn’t say anymore, just continued to stare at Joohyun and watch for her reactions. Joohyun didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to say that Sooyoung was right (probably for the nth time now), but when she heard it from someone else, it became more believable. Sooyoung’s words were able to string together all of her thoughts and her feelings into one place where she could see the bigger picture.

Sooyoung was right.

But Joohyun didn’t want to believe it.

Her relationship with Seulgi was gradual, but it was also unexpected.

This was like the ride up to a rollercoaster and then came the sudden first drop unexpected, or like picking up something and losing feeling in your hand unexpected.

Like getting over an ex and slowly falling in love with someone else unexpected.

Joohyun didn’t want to believe it.

But it would explain why warmth would course out from her chest and through her veins whenever she saw Seulgi smile at her; why her heart would beat rapidly against her chest, almost like it was threatening to leap out of her body to love Seulgi who it was beating for, whenever Seulgi would embrace her; why her stomach would flip and turn at the mere sight of Seulgi—and no, it wasn’t the _bad_ flipping or turning of her stomach.

There were times where she wanted to stare at Seulgi forever if she could, especially during times when the latter would be sitting behind the counter in _Morning Glory_ , pencil in hand and resting on her cheek, her other hand flipping through the textbook she was reading, or when she was laughing and hopping up and down with her arms flailing like a little kid, screaming out of happiness because she won a toy from a crane machine. Her smile was so big and beautiful and Joohyun wanted to gaze at her all day, but she would look away whenever warm eyes settled onto her, afraid of what might occur or what might have been said if she were to get caught.

Joohyun looked up from the kitchen counter up to Sooyoung, who resumed the preparations of putting her lunch together.

“You realize what I’m saying now?” said Sooyoung.

Joohyun’s eyes were down casted again.

Yeah.

She was in love with her.

**

Joohyun didn’t all of a sudden stop contacting Seulgi just because she realized her feelings. She still had her usual call with her that very same night, but when she was more aware of how she spoke and what she felt, she became more conscious about everything. She was more conscious of her actions and how she responded to whatever Seulgi asked of her because she didn’t want to give herself away—didn’t want to make herself too obvious that, yes, she did like Seulgi.

It was the weekend when Joohyun decided that she should do something about this. There was an annual festival for the spring season at one of their local community parks, booths and vendors of all kinds lined up on the grass to sell merchandise, clothes, or food. Joohyun asked Seulgi if she wanted to go tonight, considering how the latter was talking about wanting to try out the different foods from different cultures for a while now. It was Sunday, the last day of the festival, and the last chance to attend before having to wait another year.

Seulgi didn’t hesitate to accept their invitation, thus they were strolling along the park with the starry night sky hanging over them, listening to the boisterous laughter and screams of children and adults alike. Since it was the last day of the festival and Sundays are practically family days, Joohyun stayed close to Seulgi, afraid of losing her in the sea of families and couples. She subconsciously looped her arm around Seulgi’s and noticed how quickly the latter stiffened up, causing her to retract almost immediately.

“S-Sorry… it’s a habit of mine….” Joohyun mumbled.

Seulgi nervously laughed and shook her head. “N-No, it’s okay. I’m just… I’m not used to that.” Joohyun saw how Seulgi looked at her and the way she gulped. The younger girl offered her arm. “H-Here.”

Joohyun continued to gaze at Seulgi for any further reactions, but the longer she stuck her arm out, the more a blush crept up on Joohyun’s face. She eventually looped her arm back around Seulgi’s and shyly smiled.

“Oh, look!” Seulgi pointed at a food vendor with her free hand. “There’s Thai food here.”

“Did you want to get some?”

The minute they got here, Seulgi was practically at every single food vendor at the entrance of the festival, munching on free samples or getting the cheapest item at the vendors she liked. Joohyun’s stomach felt like it was going to explode from the amount of food the festivals gave, noodles spilling over containers or drinks dripping from the brim. The fact that Seulgi was pointing at more vendors this time around made her want to wallow in tears and throw up—how could this girl stomach more food at this instance, or even think about consuming some more?

Seulgi tilted her head and pouted at the thought. “No. I think I’m full now. I was just surprised to see a Thai food vendor here!”

Joohyun sighed in relief. “Thank goodness. I’m about to burst.”

Seulgi looked at her and laughed. “Sorry. I’m sure you know by now that I have a pretty big appetite.”

“Yet you remain so skinny!” Joohyun commented, her free hand instinctively reaching out to pat Seulgi on the stomach. They ate so much yet Seulgi’s stomach was as hard as a rock. Joohyun cleared her throat, “Girls would kill to have your body, you know?”

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” Seulgi winked.

Joohyun died just a little bit inside. With the hand that was still resting on Seulgi’s stomach, she formed a fist and dug it deep, causing the younger girl to flinch and laughed out loud.

“Do you want to sit down and watch the performance?” asked Seulgi.

Joohyun nodded, making their way to the back of the festival where performers of all types were showcasing their talents. Right now there was a classical musician beautifully strumming a violin. Most of the patrons of the festival were roaming around, so there were barely any of them sitting down at the foldable chairs situated in front of the stage. Joohyun and Seulgi sat towards the back where there was virtually no one.

“How did you do on your midterms?” Joohyun asked after a moment of comfortable silence.

“Hmm, I haven’t gotten my scores back yet for one of them, but for the other two I did better than I thought,” said Seulgi. She smiled and looked at Joohyun. “Thanks for keeping me company while I studied. If I wasn’t on the phone with you for some of those nights, I probably would have fallen asleep.”

“Anytime…” Joohyun returned the smile.

They have been at the festival for quite some time now with about an hour left to spare before the coordinators had to tear down and clean up for the night. With the amount of food sitting around in her stomach waiting to digest and while listening to the calming violinist, Joohyun was close to falling asleep. She looked over to Seulgi who was swaying a tiny little bit to the strings.

“Do you mind if I… lean on your shoulder?” asked Joohyun.

“Oh, no. Of course not.” Seulgi even went as far as to pat her left shoulder with a grin.

Joohyun giggled at the gesture and leaned her head. “You’re so silly.”

They sat in silence and continued to listen to the violinist, who was probably on the climax of the song she was playing. Despite it being very soft and different compared to the loud noises coming from clanging of pots and pans at the back of food vendors, little children running around on the grass, and adults laughing noisily after consuming a fair amount of soju, Joohyun was content being next to the one who she grew to like very much. She closed her eyes and shivered from the small, chilly breeze, pulling her thin jacket closer to her body and crossing her arms afterwards.

Seulgi shifted against her and Joohyun felt her head move towards the crook of her neck, a warm arm wrapped around her shoulder. She opened her eyes at the thoughtful gesture and gazed up to see Seulgi returning the same exact look.

“Seulgi…”

“It’s a little bit chilly now,” Seulgi said. She brought her free hand around to meet with the other, practically locking Joohyun in encirclement. “Are you okay, unnie? Do you want to head back?”

Joohyun shook her head.

Seulgi didn’t say any more.

The violinist finished her performance and bowed to the audience seated at the very front. The next performer came up on stage and stood in front of the microphone, awaiting the background track to play across the field before he started singing a well-known ballad.

“Seulgi…” Joohyun’s voice was soft and almost inaudible.

“Yes, unnie?”

Joohyun felt the pace of her heartbeat increasing while thinking of the words she was about to spew out. “I-I have something to tell you…”

“What is it?”

With much reluctance, Joohyun removed herself from the source of warmth. She leaned away from Seulgi and averted her gaze to the ground below them, teeth sinking into her lower lip as she continued to think about what she wanted to say.

She was going to tell her.

She was going to tell Seulgi how she started to have feelings for her, how she grew to think about her every night, how she couldn’t exactly focus on some days because of her.

Seulgi shifted in her seat and sat up properly, most likely because she was starting to notice that whatever Joohyun was going to say from here on out was too much for her to hold in her mind.

“I…” Joohyun started, but her voice started to falter. She shook her head and chuckled at herself. “I don’t know why this is so hard to say right now…”

“Unnie… it’s okay,” Seulgi reassured her. “You don’t really have to say it right now if you’re not ready.”

Joohyun rigorously shook her head. “No, I have to. If not now, then I don’t know if I could in the future.”

Seulgi’s brows began to furrow. She gripped onto the edge of her seat and slightly leaned in closer when Joohyun lowered her gaze. “Is everything okay, unnie?”

Joohyun swallowed a harsh lump in her throat. She gradually lifted her head and looked straight at Seulgi, who had her brows still furrowed and her bottom lip tucked in between her upper lip and her teeth.

“I-I think it’s been awhile n-now?” Joohyun questioned herself. “I really don’t know when this started, but I—it’s… these feelings are just so unexpected. L-Like, it’s not inconvenient or anything like that, b-but I just… I-I don’t know. I don’t know. I just don’t really know how they came about.

“It might have been because I’ve been spending a lot of time with you? I… I love spending time with you… even if what we do most of the time scares the crap out of me… but I…”

Joohyun huffed and looked up to the sky, as if she was pleading for someone to help her form her thoughts properly and get on with what she was trying to say. Seulgi continued to patiently sit and listen to her, but her face looked less concerned.

“I…”

_Just get on with it, Joohyun!_

_Just say it out loud!_

_Stop beating around the bush, you’re not making any sense!_

Joohyun breathed in slowly, but it was shaky and it hitched. She thought that Seulgi probably believed she was going to cry any time soon. And she might, honestly. Given what the younger girl’s reaction might be.

“I-It’s—it’s so unexpected to me, but I… I l-like you. A lot. More than someone I know –w-who works at the same mall as me, m-more than a friend… I…” Joohyun closed her eyes and told herself to breathe in. And out. “I like you.”

_There you go, Joohyun._

_You did it._

_You finally did it_.

But she couldn’t exactly relax just yet. Not when Seulgi hadn’t said a word.

Joohyun opened her eyes to see Seulgi’s reaction, and she felt slightly horrified to know that it wasn’t anything like she expected. Seulgi leaned back and slumped in her chair, her hands palming the sides of her head.

“O-Oh, my God, u-unnie…”

Joohyun’s breathing was shallow once again. “Y-You don’t have to return my feelings. You don’t have to feel obligated in doing so!”

“N-No! No, I….” Seulgi immediately interjected. “Would you believe that… that I was thinking about confessing to you as well?”

Joohyun was still. “You… You what?”

Seulgi released her head and stared at Joohyun with warm eyes. “I’ve been feeling the same way. Although it wasn’t as unexpected. I knew… ever since we watched _Annabelle_ together.”

Joohyun managed to stand up despite shaky legs. “You’re telling me that you’ve had feelings for me all this while…?” Seulgi nodded. “And… and… you made me go through all of _that_ just to tell you!?”

Seulgi gasped and stood up as well. “I-I didn’t know you were going to confess! I thought something serious happened to you or, like, a loved one in your life!”

Joohyun heaved a sigh. Her shoulders slumped, but she surprisingly felt so much more at ease now. It was like a wave of relief rushed over her body, releasing the tension in her neck and shoulders, calming down her breathing to a slow, steady pace. Her heartbeat was still beating faster than usual and her hands and legs were shaking, but to know that the one she liked felt the same exact way gave her more reasons to feel quivers and look like a tomato. At least she didn’t have to constantly ask herself why or ignore these feelings anymore.

“I’m sorry… I was just _so_ scared. I didn’t know how you’d react at all…”

Seulgi softly smiled and gently held Joohyun by the waist. “No… Thank you for being the one to do it.”

Joohyun slipped more into her embrace, burrowing her face into her chest, relieving pleasant sighs. She dragged her hands across Seulgi’s back to tighten her hold.

“Unnie,” Seulgi softly called.

Joohyun looked up expectantly, seeing how Seulgi gazed at her so tenderly and lovingly. It felt like years when their eyes were fixed onto each other, like the world around them stopped. Joohyun couldn’t hear anything but the pulses in her mind and she couldn’t see anything but Seulgi staring at her, as if everything around her was a blank background.

Seulgi was leaning in closer with eyes closed, soft lips barely touching Joohyun’s. It was soft… tender, as if Joohyun was being kissed for the first time ever. She closed her eyes and firmly pressed her lips against Seulgi’s, putting all the affection and want that she had felt all this time.

Joohyun felt like this love will last a long time.

Maybe even forever.

The kiss was short and sweet when Seulgi broke it off, but she remained close by, forehead leaning on Joohyun’s.

Joohyun could hear Seulgi release a small laugh. “My chest feels so warm.”

She smiled. “I feel that way every time I’m with you.”

Seulgi hugged Joohyun a little bit tighter. She didn’t seem like she wanted to let go.

“We should head home soon. The festival is closing,” said Seulgi, albeit quite reluctantly.

Joohyun felt unwilling as well. They just came to terms with their feelings, but have to part so quickly. However, they walked off toward the exit with their hands intertwined, beautiful smiles plastered on their faces and chests filled with so much warmth. Joohyun thought that if Jongdae was here, he would have immediately commented on the glow on her face at this very moment, even when it was nighttime.

They arrived to the festival separately, so they parted ways with another long embrace and a chaste kiss. Joohyun returned home that night with a grin so big that Sooyoung was staring at her incredulously. She didn’t tell her what happened that night, only went inside her room and plopped down onto her bed, finally letting out a delighted squeal. She felt like a teenager in love again.

Joohyun grabbed onto Yuki and hugged the bunny tightly against her chest. Her face was starting to hurt from smiling too much, but she couldn’t help it. She hadn’t felt this happy before in a long time.

A buzz from her phone momentarily interrupted her ecstatic mood, and she shifted onto her stomach, reaching over to see who messaged her late.

_Hope you got home safely~ <3 _

_I did! Did you get home safely too?_

_No your poor Seulgi is hurting rn_

_Wth, what happened?_

_My mom hit me from making too much noise HAHAHA_

_Tf Seulgi! ._._

_I was rolling around on my bed hugging Toki and screaming and my mom came in. I think I woke her up lol_

_Toki?_

_The pink bunny! Remember I gave you Yuki?_

_Oh omg I was about to hit you too!!!!_

Joohyun texted Seulgi for a few more minutes until the latter decided to call her, making them both enter the stage of another sleepless night. But honestly, Joohyun never minded losing sleep because of her. If Seulgi were to call her at three in the morning, she’d pick up in a heartbeat—given that she would have to groggily wake up first from her incessant ringing.

Seulgi had an important class tomorrow morning that she couldn’t afford to oversleep, so she ended the call with a “muah!” for the first time ever, causing Joohyun to blush and giggle. She retracted the phone away from her ear, mindlessly gazing at the lit screen that showed the background.

Joohyun fell asleep that night with Yuki close to her chest again, but even closer this time after knowing that Seulgi had Yuki’s partner with her as well. It was as if Joohyun had this ridiculous idea that Yuki and Toki were connected as one, so that the closer Yuki was to her chest, the closer Seulgi was to her as well, given that she was hugging Toki to sleep.

Upon meeting Seulgi for the first time outside _Morning Glory_ , if someone were to tell Joohyun that she was going to end up falling for her, she might have thought that person to be thinking weird thoughts. She wasn’t completely out of heartbreak yet, but she was still capable of falling in love. She just didn’t expect it to be with Seulgi and she didn’t expect the process to be so gradual to the point where she couldn’t even recognize the obvious telltale signs of falling in love.

Gradual or not, Joohyun was glad it was Seulgi.

This adorable, goofy girl who had so much love to give, who could probably brighten up the world with her smile if given the power to.

She was so different, so charming, yet so fitting for Joohyun.

It was wonderful.

And Joohyun wanted it to last forever.

**_Kang Seulgi—_ **

**_Three will always be Kang Seulgi._ **


End file.
